Mario Kart 8 is more competitive than its sugary exterior would have you believe.
You could play the game for fun: not studying every corner; not hitting every boost; not pursuing first place like it's the drink that will quench your existential thirst. Or you could be an over-competitive kart racing addict — like me. (Let's just assume you're playing the game.)
If you're interested in unlocking all the unlockables, uncovering a few shortcuts and learning some tips, we've put together a short, helpful video. May it bring you the success you seek on the track, and may your family forgive you for breaking the coffee table with your elaborate victory dance. (YouTube version)