Washington Square Park was alive with the sound of people who weren’t quite sure what the Nintendo Switch was, the week before the console was released.
But I was there to get the opinions of the so-called “experts.” I wanted ordinary, red-blooded Americans. I was equipped with two blown-up, grainy print-outs of the Nintendo Switch Joy-Con controllers, and a single question.
Which one is sexier?
Is it the black-on-grey controller with a d-pad? Or is it the black-on-grey controller with letter buttons, and a tempting home button?
“Simone,” you’re asking, “why didn’t you ask them about the neon red and blue Joy-Cons? Aren’t those more visually distinct?”
You fool, I respond. How do you expect me to get authentic hard data from controllers that are really, noticeably different? Obviously the red controller would win anyway, because our monkey brains are hard-wired to find the color red sexy. Don’t mess with my science.
Check out the video about to see the results of my investigation. The answers might surprise you.