Would you rather be able to fly or turn invisible? That’s one of the toughest hypotheticals known to man, and Nintendo is throwing it in Splatoon 2 players’ faces with the game’s next Splatfest.
Since Nintendo revealed the upcoming Splatfest’s teams earlier today, the masses have weighed in. Flight is the obvious pick here, according to the majority of Splatoon fans — defying the laws of gravity? Hell yes, they say. Even if that means supporting the much-hated Splatfest host Pearl, Team Flight members are holding fast.
The next Splatfest is basically everyone who ever lived vs. creepers pic.twitter.com/5mLtey9fpb
— Tristan Cooper (@TristanACooper) August 17, 2017
Invisibility are for perverts so I'm #TeamFlight https://t.co/fLS4dcfSTY
— Ryan (@Ryan_Booyah) August 17, 2017
My Splatoon 2 #TeamFlight propaganda begins now pic.twitter.com/UZzoPTWBKL
— NGYESH (@ManiacalZ) August 17, 2017
Flight has long proven to be the popular answer to this age-old debate, as discussed on an old episode of This American Life. In a segment on the radio show, contributor John Hodgman found that most people are down to fly — “Flight is the hero, selfless and confident and unashamed,” he says.
But invisibility strikes me as a much more practical choice. You can get work done without interruptions. You can go anywhere and not be bothered. You don’t have to worry about how your hair looks or what you’re wearing or if there’s chocolate on your face. It sounds perfect.
Flight, meanwhile, could be totally life-threatening. You know what they say about flying too close to the sun, right?
Of course, Nintendo hasn’t clarified the limitations of flight and invisibility in this paradigm. Maybe you can only fly so high. Maybe you have to be totally naked for the invisibility to work properly. Maybe they’re both terrible options, as some have suggested.
shot down by anti-air defenses in no-fly zones
— Mizalie (@MizalieRay) August 17, 2017
vs
shot down by thermal googles swat teams after being called about an invisible thief
Who knows? Nintendo hasn’t said how these powers work, but we’ve asked. We’ll keep you posted.
Although I consistently pick the unpopular choice in these Splatfests — I was Team Mayo last time, and Team Cake before that — it helps that fan-favorite idol Marina is repping invisibility in this round. We’ll see if people feel obligated to go with the superpower as a means of showing support for their best girl ... not that that helped out big-time loser Team Ketchup much in the last Splatfest.
You have just two weeks to choose a side before defending your team in as many matches of Turf War as you can. Pick wisely.