Even after mastering the game, there's still 5 B.S. Things About 'Dark Souls'

The title says it all.

Look guys, nothing is perfect. Not even Dark Souls. And while I do adore this game and virtually every aspect about it, there's still undeniably 5 things about the game that is complete and utter b.s., no matter how much you try to defend it. Even if you remembered every enemy placement, every treasure and every bonfire, there's still some things about this game that is purely cheap crap.

Honorable Mention: Capra Demon Arena

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The Duke of Debauchery. The Titan of Tears. The Scrubber of Scrubs. Aw yeah, it's Capra Demon.

We all remember how hard Capra Demon murdered us, when we were still bright eyed young players trying to learn how to riposte; the rage at his instant-kill jump attack, or his doggy bodyguards humpin' our legs.

And his horribly designed arena.

Let's face it guys: the arena you fight Capra Demon in sucks. Sure, it [i]looks[/i] cool, but its design is horrible. First of all, the bottleneck at the opening is just a really cheap way to get new players. That's unfair. Even when you do master how to avoid the jump attack without getting your ankles chewed by the dogs, it's still a jarring design choice in my mind. But then you've got a goat demon to kill who, for no apparent reason other than to be annoying, has dogs for bodyguards.

But I'm not here to talk about the fight itself, I'm talking about the arena. It's a bottleneck with a staircase. Have fun, let the camera go wild, the works. Capra's jump attack can reach the archway on top, hope to Christ you have a spear, it's all just a potentially great fight made bad because of the badly designed arena. And if you SOMEHOW made it to Capra without killing any enemies and getting throat-cutted by the thieves even though you began entering the fog door, (seriously), well... have fun fighting two of the most annoying enemies in the game in this well-crafted arena.

The reason why this was an honorable mention is because, unlike everything else on this list, it's mostly based on your skill. But again, the reason why this was an honorable mention is because this arena was purely b.s.

#5. Enemies Can Hit Through Walls, But You Can't!

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Yeah, I've not seen a single person make a legit argument defending this! There's really nothing to say about it. How come the enemies can hit through walls but you can't? Now, of course it's possible to adapt to the situation, maybe switch to a thrusting weapon and such. But still, why did they make it like this?

And I doubt they'll fix this in DS2. It'll probably be even worse next time around, so grab your halberds.

#4. Bed of Chaos

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I won't dwell on this for long. We all know why the Bed of Chaos sucks. For me though, it's not because it's a cheap ass mofo with a bland theme and artificial difficulty, but because this boss is unlike any other boss in the whole game. It really can't even be considered a boss. It's more like a gimmick fight, like it's God of War or something.

Thankfully, From Software owned up to this giant mistake of a fight. Let's hope they don't repeat it in Dark Souls 2.

#3. Overpowered Magic

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The Souls Games have always had a problem with the magic being overpowered, but I feel that it's worse in Dark Souls. There's no denying that the magic is powerful. You can just keep backpeddling from bosses, giving the occasional dodge, and just wipe out even annoying fights like Four Kings in a matter of seconds. It's a joke. It makes the game hilariously easy.

#2. Four Kings' Magic

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Alright, now we're getting to the real b.s. Let's talk about Four Kings and why no one on Earth likes this fight:

-You've got a boss that deals ridiculous damage and has a ridiculously high amount of health.

-You're in an arena that mucks up your depth perception.

-You have a useless item that takes up one ring spot

-If you take too long to kill one, another appears and gang-bangs your ass. So you're on the clock.

-Defies the STORY AND HIS OWN NAME just to make the fight harder! Up to seven can appear! SEVEN!

-If you die and don't know the shortcut, it's a LOOONG way back from Firelink.

-Must be killed at an even LOWER level to access the most useful covenant in the whole game.

-Annoying theme.

-Annoying design.

-Annoying sounds.

Alright, I wasn't serious about those last three, but you get the idea. And I'll be honest here: I would not mind this fight in the slightest if it wasn't for Four Kings' magic. He has this homing purple spear that does a helluva lotta damage, homes in on ya, and it never goes away until it hits you. Ever.

Then you got his grab attack, which is practically impossible to dodge, his AOE attack, and above all there's basically a time limit on a boss that has annoyingly high health. Fuck Four Kings.

#1. Anor Londo Bonfire

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Let's say in this playthrough, you don't feel like going through the horrible Catacombs to get Gwyndolin's ring. You just wanna kill Gwynevere and kill him that way. So you do that. On your way down, you run into the Firekeeper. You figure that Gwyndolin's an easy fight, so you kill her and claim her soul. Then you turn the staircase crank and go down.

You sit at the bonfire before the fog door, just in case you die. So you enter the door, Gwyndolin gives his speech and the fight begins. After one swing from your lightning Zweihander, Gwyndolin's already calling for an intermission.

But then you get killed by his stupid magic clusters. What the hell? You were behind the pillar! Oh, yeah, you're too far away and they home in, so a couple just went AROUND the pillar. Makes sense. But that's okay! You rested at the bonfire in front of his do-

Wait, why are you at the Anor Londo bonfire? You sat at the Darkmoon Tomb fire! Eh, whateves. You can simply warp back to-

The keeper's dead. You can't. And the stairs are down! That means you'll have to go through Sen's Fortress to get back to stupid Gwyndolin! And that's when a startling realization comes to light:

THE GAME. BROKE ITS OWN RULES. JUST TO BE MORE NEEDLESSLY DIFFICULT.

THAT. IS. BULLSHIT.

Thanks for reading! Goodnight!