Comics! Cartoons! Anime! Crisis Vol. 2, No. 15: Hell Of An Issue

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Welcome, welcome, welcome! To a new edition of Crisis, join us today as we burn in the fires of hell in eternal suffering....I mean discuss a comic, a cartoon and.....Yeah I got no Anime I figured you guys would know that about me by now.

Featured Comic: Hellboy in Hell

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Also known as Hellboy: A Christmas Carol

I've always been a fan of Hellboy, If you aren't familiar with Mike Mignolas work than let me bring you up to speed, Hellboy is the son of the lord of hell possessing the gigantic indestructible stone Right Hand of Doom, he was accidentally summoned to earth as a baby when Nazi occultists were attempting to pull something far more dangerous out of hell before being interrupted by Allied forces in 1943. Among the forces who discovered Hellboy was Professor Trevor Bruttenholm, an expert on the occult for the allied forces, and instead of attempting to send Hellboy back or allowing the other soldiers to kill him he adopted him and raised him for what he was at the time, nothing more than a baby boy(Albeit one with a massive stone hand) Due to Bruttenholms upbringing Hellboy grew into as well adjusted and well meaning as the son of of a lord of hell can be on earth and works for(Or worked for, a lot has happened in this universe) the B.P.R.D(Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense) Anyway, I suppose the question you might ask is "Why is he in Hell?" Long Answer: It's part of his inevitable destiny the series likes to play up. Short Answer: A Dragon.

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Getting his heart torn out by said Dragon just before it died probably didn't help

He's a son of the lord of hell, where was he gonna go Detroit? So anyway, in this first for Hellboy ongoing series we follow Hellboys new experiences in hell, he's almost immediately accosted by a massive monster of a Knight blaming him for his eternal suffering until being pulled out the fire by the first of three spirits intent on giving the prodigal son a tour of the ruins of the kingdom he stands to inherit.(See, the Christmas Carol puppet show makes a little sense in a screwed up way) What makes this series great is the visuals of Hell, not a boiling lake of fire like many depictions but rather a place that seems faded, dilapidated and forgotten by the world that stopped believing in it, ruins of cities inhabited by nothing more than corpses and long forgotten spirits, Massive monsters constantly fishing damned souls out of rivers and fashioning them into minions of an unused army and the capital city of hell sitting broken and abandoned by the other lords of hell as soon as they heard Hellboy had died and was on his way(Save for one, who comes into play as a rather surreal but intriguing early plot point)


No Joke Here, I seriously can't get over how fantastic the visuals of hell are in this book, I recommend it on that alone.


You think I was kidding? The Art in this book gives me boners sometimes.

So, in the end this is a new thing for Hellboy, previously confined to Mini series and one shots(a few of which I may cover in the future) he is now starring in his first Ongoing book, it's on a break right now because Mignola writes and draws these issues whenever he damn well feels like it but I highly suggest grabbing the first 6 issues and following on in the series as I plan to. Or, if you don't want to read you can alternately check out the Big Budget Hellboy movies(Hellboy and Hellboy 2:The Golden Army) directed by Guillermo Del Toro, as they are both fantastic and extremely faithful live action takes on the character and in them Ron Pearlman plays the role of Hellboy so well you'll wonder if he was always supposed to sound like that, there's also two Animated one shot movies that are bit more faithful to the Fairy Tale elements found in the book, but don't quite reach the highs of the movies or the comic(Hellboy: The Sword of Storms and Hellboy: Blood and Iron) But enough about this! Lets move on too....

Featured Cartoon: Ugly Americans

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A Bunch of Full Grown Geese

Ugly Americans.....what the hell is Ugly Americans? Even I'm not 100% on that, one part horror comedy, one part pulp parody and one part completely fucked up beyond all redeeming and all just plain weird. The show follows the life of Mark Lily, a social worker at the Department of Integration in NYC, only an NYC filled to the brim with all sorts of weird creatures, from Wizards, Manbirds and Demons to Eastern European people! It's Marks job to help them assimilate into "Normal" society. The colorful cast of characters in the show include Callie(Marks on and off again Girlfriend, also a demon and Satans daughter) Randal, his Zombie Roomate, he's often falling apart(And one time actually had his Penis run away from constant "Abuse") Dwayne, his boss and quite possibly the biggest wuss a Demon has ever been and the shows kind of sorta breakout character Leonard


He's uh....."Magic"

I don't really have a lot I can explain about this show, but it's hilarious if you're a fan of the Shockley old pulp horror stories and spot the endless references to it contained within. The show truly didn't give any fucks when it was on air either, with episodes covering everything from Vampires to a race of man birds who get into boxing matches with their dicks and have 36 different ways to say "Suck My Balls" It has no real overarching plot so you can go on an episode to episode basis and not feel lost, it was recently confirmed to not be returning for a third season on Comedy Central so honestly I don't know how you're supposed to get your hands on this one, but I'm sure it's somewhere on the internet and I believe the first season is sold on DVD.

Featured Anime: Seriously Guys?

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Well that's just a lie, I'm hideous.

I don't watch Anime, I really can't bullshit one because I don't really care to be perfectly honest, for the love of god use this space to talk about it but know I probably won't be part of that conversation.

>People actually using it
>Not just using PD

You guys know the drill, use this space to talk about all things Cartoons, Comics, Animu whatever.

Shout out to DKG for doing more to promote this article than I do, and I just wrote it, If you want to write one in the future just let me or Chaosbirdomaid know.

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