THIS IS NOT POLYGON DAILY. READ MORE CLOSELY
Hello fellows who may or may not have noticed my absence. I made a bit of a splash by saying I was getting out of gaming last week. I skimmed some comments in Polygon Daily about, and appreciate your thoughtful responses. I am still "getting out" but with some modifications. For this post, I’ve got three things on the agenda: explain myself, a brief biography, and party time.
So, after a week without playing games, I have had a number of insights. I think the term "addicted" if fairly relevant for me. I don’t want to belittle alcoholism, but there seem to be some pertinent parallels. I felt compelled to play games in any spare moment, and other aspects of my life were suffering as a result. I feel getting all the games out of my house would not be the right way to go though. I need to choose to not play, rather than rely on a game-free environment. I will never be able to avoid them entirely, so willpower will have to be what keeps me "sober". So far, so good. Instead, the plan is to stay logged off of Polygon (although I will probably read over PD on occasion). My goal is not to never play games again, but get to the point where I don’t want to play them constantly.
Over the course of the week, I have noticed that I just have a lot more brain power and concentration to provide on everything else in my life. So many processing cycles each day were spent planning what I would do next in the game-du-jour. It was distracting; it was frustrating; it was making me a worse person. I still feel a lot of cycles being spent on games that I am not going to play any time soon, so I’m not ready yet. The benchmark I am looking for is when I can go a whole week without feeling those wasted cycles.
I had seen some resentment about my leaving, or the implication that "I need to grow up" therefore you all need to "grow up." Stop it. I have never been a proponent of "games are for kids". The way I needed to grow up was to take control of my life and my head. Breaking from games was the implementation of that policy, because that is what was out of control. It would be fair to jump to the conclusion that I was "having a hissy fit", depressed, or "being melodramatic." I certainly was in a bad place, emotionally, but that is more a side effect of change than the cause of the change. I feel good now. I miss the things I enjoyed (games, PD, you all), but I have restored reason, not lost it. So that is where I am.
Who the Hell is Sabre?
I don’t try to make it very hard to figure out who I am, but leaving an active email address or personal information on a web-crawled site can be dangerous. I’m going to give out some personal details for any one that was curious. I think this is particularly fair since I have researched several of you. Without wanting to sound too creepy, just based on some basic information and your profile pages, many of you are pretty easy to track down to a real person. Names, email addresses, home addresses, place of employment, and more and only a few searches away. I apologize if you feel like your privacy has been invaded. I haven’t exposed any of that information, or done anything more than use Google and some simple deduction. Again, if that bothers you, I am sorry. That is the kind of person I am, and you might as well be aware. So who is Sabre Swinger?
- My name is Jim. Feel free to call me that instead of "Sabre".
- I live in Fredericton, New Brunswick, Canada. I am literally the only sabre coach in the province, so finding me should be really easy.
- www.damoclesfencing.com See, wasn’t that easy? That site is just a placeholder, don’t take that as an example of my better efforts. If you’re interested (Nipah), fenb.damoclesfencing.com might be a better example.
- I’m in my thirties, married and have two kids. I never owned a Super Nintendo.
- I will still be on Twitter. If you can’t be bothered to click on my profile, @FenceB3yond.
- "Last" games played: FEZ (PS4), Dark Souls 2 (PS3), Final Fantasy X (Vita).
Yes, I am probably a bigger jerk online instead of in person. I still tell people what I think, and don’t sugar coat my opinions, so perhaps it isn’t so different in person. I have truly enjoyed the honesty with which people present themselves in Polygon Daily. You are good folks, and you have all deserved better treatment than I have given you on occasion. If I have been cruel, uncouth, or mean, I more than likely regretted it a few minutes later. I have tried to filter out the crap, rather than just write the first thought in my head. That hasn’t always worked out. I will be back when my head is clearer. Perhaps, I will be better behaved.
Yes dawg, let’s have a little fun in here. I don’t wanna sap the life out of PD today, but feel free to throw down some puns, insults, or crazy gifs in here. Got a cheap shot you’ve been waiting to launch at me: go for it! Had something deep and meaningful to share: do it! Want to try to get away with something outside the watchful eyes of the PD mods: well that probably won’t fly, but try it any way!