Welcome to Polygon Daily at E3. What is this thread? It's your daily Polygon community thread where you're given the floor to talk about your excitement related to E3, or even anything that has caught your eye over the past 24 hours. Just be sure to stick to our Community Guidelines, and a good time will be had by all parties.
Please note: This is a NO GIF thread. Please post your GIFs in the Polygon E3 GIF Collection of 2014 thread to keep this page load time (and data hogging) to a minimum for the rest of the community.
Here's the list of events happening today (PDT), all of which will be covered here on Polygon along with some other goodies:
9-9:30 a.m. - MICROSOFT PRE-SHOW
9:30-11:30 a.m. - MICROSOFT PRESS CONFERENCE
11:30 a.m. to noon - MICROSOFT POST-SHOW / EA PRE-SHOW
12-2 p.m. - EA PRESS CONFERENCE
2-2:30 p.m. - EA POST-SHOW
2:30-3 p.m. - UBISOFT PRE-SHOW
3-4:30 p.m. - UBISOFT PRESS CONFERENCE
3:30-4 p.m. - UBISOFT POST-SHOW
5:30-6 p.m. - SONY PRE-SHOW
6-8 p.m. - SONY PRESS CONFERENCE
8-8:30 p.m. - SONY PRESS CONFERENCE POST-SHOW
Whilst you're waiting for the expo to begin let's start with a recap.
Microsoft E3 2014 press conference in under 5 minutes by Russ Frushtick
Cuphead is a game. Watch it, view it by Jenna Pitcher
Watch nine minutes of Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare here by Samit Sarkar
NHL 15 saves its best for sports' last next-gen debut by Owen S. Good
FIFA 15 brings out the emotional ups and downs of a soccer match by Owen S. Good
The defense presents the opening argument for Madden NFL 15 by Owen S. Good
Dragon Age: Inquisition explores moral quandaries in a vast world by Colin Campbell
The Sims 4 digs deep into emotions, personalities and casual attire by Colin Campbell
I’d be too ashamed buying it myself, even for the joke.
First I would have to create two people (Andy Dufresne style), a mother and son. I’ll have the game billed to her and shipped to a PO box in his name. Once it arrives, a man hired through several intermediaries will pick up the package, transport it via a surgically created cavity in his chest to Arizona, where he’ll then bury it at an unmarked location in the Mojave Desert. This man will promptly be disposed of.
After a couple of years when the heat dies down, a sleeper agent in the area will activate and discreetly comb the desert under the guise of a geological survey until he comes across the item. At the same time, a second sleeper agent in Lincoln, Nebraska will be en route to the first’s location (following the homing beacon implanted in his skull) in a stolen 2014 Buick LaCrosse for the hand-off. The police will report a stolen Buick, but this Buick doesn’t look like a Buick.
They’ll make the hand-off, after which the homing beacon in agent #1’s skull will self-destruct. The second agent will secure Bullet Girls in the passenger seat as a hacked Google Earth satellite zooms in and snaps a photo. The agent in the Buick, game in hand, then crosses the Mexican border where members of a drug cartel just happen to be waiting, eager to make an example out of our friend. The car is a smoldering pile of ashes by the time the Federales arrive.
Meanwhile, the photo will have been uploaded from Google’s servers to every major image sharing website where it is then picked up by Reddit. Several days later as I’m browsing Reddit’s front page, I’ll stumble upon the image and choose to share it with my Polygon Daily buds along with some condescending commentary, like "Look at this weeb. This is the reason the Japanese industry is dead."Paradox me | 6 Recommends
And that's it for today Polynauts. Come back throughout the week for more Polygon Daily at E3 conversation and news roundups. If you're looking to create a header like the one used up top, then check out the Polygon Daily header thread where we're taking active submissions.