I really don’t want to buy one of these things. Part of me hopes Microsoft will flop at E3 to make my decision easier. I’m not going to like it if the games blow me away.

Wow, okay. I just wanted to play video games and instead I get robot.

It’s secretly Phil Fish venting his anger.

Yeah man, it’s hilarious regardless. I love that someone thought to do this.

HAHAHAHA!

Also, can we please get a “culture” section in the top menu? I have trouble finding those articles.

Suda games have the best bosses.

Yep, I’m aware of this. Don’t have a PC, though.

Well, I’ll get used to this. I had zero problem with the way things were, though because I like as little clutter as possible. I literally never use sidebars on any website so the fact that it takes up so much space and scrolls with me is upsetting. I liked how uncluttered it all looked before with the big, wide, articles.

Alan Wake mega sale on XBL. Do you guys recommend the original, American Nightmare, the DLC, all of it, or none of it? I have quite a few MS points stashed up.

Maybe one of them is the new BlazBlue?

All right, let’s break it down. 15 exclusives in the first year and the console will launch this fall (probably November). Eight new IPs means 7 old IPs. So what are we looking at? First, let’s see if we can determine what IPs are returning.

Gears of War- Highly unlikely since we literally just got a new one. There remains the possibility that Epic is working on a new game since People Can Fly did Judgement, though it wouldn’t be a launch game. Releasing a new Gears a year and a half later would be too close, in my opinion, but perhaps a good move.

Halo- Somewhat likely. Though we just got a new Halo game, next November is the 10th anniversary of Halo 2, which seems like a safe bet. That’d sell systems for sure.

Forza- Confirmed.

Project Gotham- Unlikely because of Forza but technically possible. They’d need a new developer, though.

Shadow Complex- Somewhat likely. Fans have been wanting a sequel for quite some time now. Seems like a good choice.

Crackdown- Likely. Crackdown 2 was terrible, yes, but it’s an important franchise for Microsoft because it’s one of the few retail exclusives the 360 had.

Fable- Very likely. Rumor has it that Lionhead is working on an MMO. It would make sense for them to slap the recognizable Fable branding on it if they are. Or, they could just be working on another Fable RPG, the prospect of which excites me with Molyneux gone.

Really old stuff- Highly unlikely. I’m talking about games like Brute Force, MechAssault, or Crimson Skies. Although MS still owns these, I don’t think they’ll ever see the light of day again.

Old stuff that sucked- Also highly unlikely that we’ll ever see Blinx again, although a Kinect-enabled Fuzion Frenzy would make sense.

And, or course, the entire catalog of Rare’s games, one of which is getting a revival:

Conker- Unlikely, though anything’s possible. It would make more sense then something like Jet Force Gemini which is not regarded as a classic. Plus, they went through the trouble of having Bad Fur Day painstakingly remade into probably the best looking game on the Xbox.

Banjo-Kazooie- More likely than most of Rare’s old library, especially if MS has been listening to fans lately. Grant Kirkhope wouldn’t be involved, though, and I can’t imagine a Banjo game without his music. That is, unless he’s the world’s best keeper of secrets.

Killer Instinct- Likely. Microsoft just renewed this trademark and settled a stupid dispute with Fox over it. They’ve never had an exclusive fighting game franchise either.

Perfect Dark- Pretty unlikely. They tried that last time and it didn’t work out too well for them.

Now, what new IPs have they got? Well, we know of Quantum Break and Ryse, both from 3rd party developers. Anything else from 3rd parties is a mystery, but MS actually has a ton of newly established studios working on stuff. After some research I’ve found they’ve got:

Black Tusk- Creating “the next Halo” for Xbox One, most likely revealing during E3.

Connected Experiences- Designing a “large-scale multiplayer” title. MMO, maybe?

MS Los Angeles- Working on a “core cinematic” game.

Platform Next Studios- Core title.

Skybox Sports- A sports game, obviously.

Kids and Lifestyle Entertainment- A new fitness “game”.

Playful Learning- A family game.

Lift London- Cloud based gaming projects.

MS Studios Victoria- Mystery project.

So, as you can see, they weren’t kidding about having more games in development now than ever before. However, nobody said all 15 of those games were hardcore games, and many of those new IPs in development probably won’t be out by next fall. I gotta say, though, that looking into this has excited me. I’m far from being sold on the console but seeing how many games it could potentially have is exciting. Maybe the reason they’ve been ignoring the 360 these past few years is because they’ve been putting massive effort into Xbox One game development. That’s certainly what they need, anyway.

I CHRISTEN THIS NEW THREAD! It’s been too long.

Well that was short.

Microsoft has employees with names like Ben Kilgore and Kiki Wolfkill. There’s a pattern here…

I play old games on my Nintendo systems all the time. I’m currently playing the Metroid Prime Trilogy on my Wii U and I constantly play GameCube games on my Wii because that thing had a fantastic library of games. The 360 plays ssome Xbox games, and I’ve actually used this function before. My 360 backlog is huge. This guy is crazy if he thinks I’d never play old games on the Xbox One.

When the Xbox 360 came out, Blu-Ray wasn’t even on the market yet. That’s how old it is. Xbox is late to the party because the 360 was out first. The PlayStation 3 had a (slow) one because Sony was an early backer of the Blu-ray format.

$60 it is, then!

I’m sure the PS3 will win thins, and it probably deserves to, but I voted for Wii. I don’t have a PS3 because it didn’t appeal to me until recently. It has, however, been getting better and better while the 360 gets worse. I voted for the Wii simply because I had one and I enjoyed its exclusive games. The Xbox 360 is really starting to piss me off.

Two giant Wiis glued together.

Banjo would be some pretty damn big incentive for me to buy an Xbox One. My interest in the thing would skyrocket. I’m willing to put up with the bullshit if I can play a brand new Banjo-Kazooie.

I wasn’t very clear, yeah. In terms of looks, it’s two Wiis attached together. In terms of size, it’s bigger than the original Xbox. So, somebody took two Wiis, supersized them, glued them to one another, and you get the Xbox One.

I didn’t think it was possible for a console to get bigger than the original Xbox, yet here it is. I know a lot of people made fun of the Wii saying it was two GameCubes duct taped together, but this literally looks like two Wiis duct taped together.

I never understood the appeal of achievements to begin with. All they accomplish is ruining my immersion whenever I unlock one.