clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

What the world needs is not just a selfie phone, but more selfie video games

Microsoft's new phone, designed specifically for people who like to take photographs of themselves, is surely a gadget in dire need of a video gaming killer app.

According to The Verge, Microsoft's selfie phone, previously revealed as codename Superman, is a handset with a 5-megapixel forward-facing camera and 4.7-inch display.

This is serious innovation, of course. A camera on the front instead of on the back. Now you can celebrate your own wonderfulness without the inconvenience of turning the phone around. Unless you're a bathroom-mirror picture-taker. Then it all starts to get a bit complicated.

But what kind of person would want to just take a bunch of selfies, without there being some way of keeping score, without some sort of fundamental point to the exercise?

21st century culture needs something that will marry the turgid gratification of gamification and the soulless narcissism of selfies. No doubt, great minds are already tasking themselves with this puzzle. How can we make the taking of photographs of oneself — gurning, pouting and posing — even more fun?

There must be a way to feel even better about pointing a fucking camera at yourself and saying "cheese" before hitting the happy snap button.


I call on the video game development community to answer the call of creativity and get to it, making games for Microsoft's new selfie phone.

For a start, the phone needs to come with some sort of gaming AI that ranks your self-glorification pictures in terms that can be appreciated via social media.

Remembered to take a picture of yourself in the warm post-masturbation glow? Achievement Unlocked!

A quick snap while looking down at the funeral corpse of a deceased relative? Star Performer!!

A selfie during a world-shattering terrorist attack? You Win!!!

But these are just scratches on the surface of selfie-gaming's vast potential. There must be a way to encourage multiple selfies per day; or selfies that include interesting environments, or selfies that put the subject in immediate and present danger of instant liquification.

Microsoft has given us the Kinect, a machine that allows us to pointlessly talk to ourselves while playing games. Now it is readying a gadget that allows us to endlessly look at ourselves. Games must be a component of this brave new world.