It was a simpler time then. The Xbox 360 was bright and new. We lived in a post-red-ring-of-death, pre-horse-armor world. To order a pizza, you actually had to dial someone by telephone. The world knew a kind of peace.
And there, always lurking just out of sight, was The Burger King. And his unflinching, plastinate gaze.
The King Games series, offered for a fee alongside the Burger King value meals in 2006, were not good. They weren't terrible though, in that they functioned and could be completed. I will admit to actually having fun racing my wife in PocketBike Racer, the Mario Kart clone (featuring Brooke Burke).
I still have the complete set. They smell like french fries inside.
But of the three game, the most legendary — and the most terrifying — is called Sneak King. In it you accost innocents on the street and force feed them Burger King food. Starting at 12:25 you can watch a masterful speedrun by Kefka14.
This speedrun is part of the charity event, Awesome Games Done Quick. Recorded earlier today, it was some time before this video that they ticked over the $500,000 mark. Proceeds will help fight cancer. Polygon will have coverage of more great runs, like this one of Tetris, throughout the week.
