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Transformers: The Last Knight has a first trailer, and it’s uniquely terrible

Of course there are Nazis

Transformers: Age of Extinction was a uniquely terrible film in general, but as the fourth Transformers title it had a lot of stink to live down to. It also brought in over $1.1 billion dollars against a $210 million budget, so there’s no reason to stop making these things.

The Last Knight trailer has it all: Nazis, archers, Marky Mark and of course a lot of interchangeable robots. Anthony Hopkins is also here to teach us about the history of the conflict between the Autobots and the Decepticons through a voice-over filled with completely unearned gravitas. It looks like Optimus Prime may be evil but I bet this trailer was edited to be misleading in some way. I bet he’ll be good again by the end of the film.

But while we’re here, let’s talk about the music. It’s a moaning, dour version of probably one of the prettier pop songs of the past 20 years: “Do You Realize??” by The Flaming Lips.

It’s a great song, filled with longing and a sense of wonder. But what if you sucked all those emotions out of the song and turned it into a dirge about how meaningful vocal effects can be?

Transformers: The Last Knight will be released in on June 23, 2017 and I’ll probably see it because my self-loathing often manifests itself through the consumption of terrible pop culture. The movie could be good, it’s likely to be really bad, but we can be sure of at least one thing: It’s very unlikely Anthony Hopkins’ check bounced.

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