The Infinity Gauntlet, a weapon created by the mad titan Thanos to hold the Infinity Gems and grant him unlimited power over the very fabric of reality, has been utterly destroyed by hot pizza rolls.
In an urgent recall issued today, Loot Crate — fine purveyor of geeky merchandise in a handy box-encapsulated subscription format — warned customers to immediately stop using a Marvel-branded novelty pot holder fashioned in the shape of the Infinity Gauntlet.
All jokes aside, this is a very serious matter. From the official recall email:
We believe it's possible some of the oven mitts sent in your Loot Crates will not withstand the high temperatures stated in the Loot Crate magazine and may pose a safety hazard, including a risk of burns. Please IMMEDIATELY STOP USING THIS PRODUCT AND CAREFULLY SECURE IT FROM USE BY OTHERS.
Loot Crate will take appropriate steps to secure the Infinity Gauntlet Oven Mitts that were distributed on an urgent basis. Please store this product in a safe place until we can develop the appropriate return or disposal protocol.
As a Loot Crate customer myself, I can report that my own Infinity Gauntlet-shaped mitt is not really all that good at keeping my hand comfortable, but I've used it without much incident to move a cast iron pan around here and there. However, Nick Borelli had an unfortunate incident that he reported directly on Twitter last week.
Despite the Loot Crate materials stating that the mitt was safe up to 500 degrees, Borelli's failed when cooking at a measly 425 degrees and burned his hand.
Thankfully, his pizza rolls are safe. We're confident that they were also delicious.
@mskimmyd85 they are in a safe place— Nick Borelli (@NicksComics) May 25, 2016
We've reached out to Borelli directly to determine if they were, in fact, Totino's Brand pizza rolls and will update this story as necessary throughout the day.
Update: Borelli has let us know that yes, these were Totino's products that destroyed the most powerful weapon in the Marvel multiverse.