Please understand that I don’t say this lightly: Mimikyu is the best Pokémon.
All I ever want to do is protect Mimikyu from harm’s way. He’s a good, sweet boy longing for acceptance from other Pokémon. He hides his body under a raggedy cloak for mysterious reasons. Does Mimikyu suffer from a terrible disease? Mimikyu is weakened by the sun, so may clothe his body to retain his strength. His chosen apparel is this shroud, which features a poorly drawn version of Pikachu’s face, a Pokémon that Mimikyu has great respect for. The reason Mimikyu chose Pikachu’s face in the first place was because he’s so “dreadfully lonely” that Mimikyu thought he might be “able to make friends with humans” if he looked like Pikachu.
That’s why a disturbing new video of Pikachu, the world’s favorite Pokémon, and Mimikyu, my trash bag son, is so difficult to watch. The video — ostensibly an ad for Pokémon Ultra Sun/Ultra Moon — starts off with a typical in-game battle between trainers. Once both Pokémon are in front of their trainers, the video switches to a real-world setting, where Pikachu, decked out in a pretty cool hat, is on stage and facing an admittedly dorkier looking Mimikyu.
The two exchange some fiery bars, based on the reaction from the crowd, but Pikachu emerges the victor, looking at Mimiyku with a menacing scowl as Mimikyu drops his mic in defeat. The video ends with Mimikyu fainting in battle, confirming there is no justice in this world.
Though Mimikyu lost, I have faith that my number-one Pokémon will return and beat his rodent foe in the next rap battle. Just don’t let him take on Meowth. The well-known smooth talking cat can probably spit some pretty great rhymes.