The Nintendo Switch screen, which I guess you could call the console itself, has a kickstand so it can stand, unsupported, on any hard surface. This is great if you’d like to play with a friend while you both look at the screen. Or if you’re playing Zelda: Breath of the Wild in the bathtub and only want to risk dropping the controller in the water. Which is something I’ve never done, so I can’t possibly know it’s amazing and the best use of the system.
Anyway.
The problem is that the kickstand itself is rather small, so the system may fall over unless the surface you’re trying to set it on is rather firm and flat. The other, more serious problem is that deploying the kickstand makes the worst noise you have ever heard in your life.
I was sure that I had broken it the first time I tried the kickstand, and had to check in with other coworkers to make sure that horrible, intestinal-yanking crunching sound is just how it’s supposed to be.
Imagine your least favorite person biting into a stale Taco Bell taco shell next to your ears. It’s kind of like that, but also their breath stink has somehow become part of the auditory experience. I can’t move the kickstand into the deployed position without wincing, because it sounds like you’re doing something terribly wrong even when the system is working as intended.
There are so many layers to how terrible the crunching sound is, the horribleness of it comes in waves. The first crunch hits you and it’s like “OK this can’t possibly get any worse” and then the rest of the crunching fully sinks in and it’s just too much to handle.
It’s like an ASMR video of someone eating Balut.
I’m not sure how Nintendo can fix this. I’m not an engineer, but this situation is particularly egregious considering the clicks and snaps and pops of the rest of the system are so aurally pleasing.
I fully understand this is a petty concern, but I am a petty creature and the sound is terrible. I wanted you to know that if you too are bothered by this situation you are not alone. We are all in this together.
