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April Fool’s video gaming roundup 2017 (update)

OMG Dreamcast 4 announced

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Good morning. It's April Fool's Day, which has become a marketing holiday second only to Black Friday. Even though everyone got a head start on it yesterday, let's still keep our guards up, because few subjects beat this day to death like video games and technology.

We'll be rounding up the best April Fool’s gags here. By "best," we mean ones with some effort, ones that are interactive or genuinely rate a laugh, and aren't just some YouTuber’s wishful thinking about an unannounced game. No "Red Dead Redemption 2 coming to Nintendo Switch," for example. (Unless, like, it is.)

So, here we go:

iFixit: Introducing the Micro Tech Toolkit

As devices get smaller and smaller, so must the tools that repair them. iFixit, the teardown and repair gurus, offer this set of nanotools. Their pro Tech Toolkit is delightfully detailed. Better yet, it is mouse-approved.

Nintendo Badge Arcade: Announcing 'Crazy Galaxy'

This "reveal" of a new game took place in the Japanese edition of the game, through a Badge Arcade Direct conducted by Baito (per NeoGAF).

I have no earthly idea what the hell this is, other than it looks worthy of the name.

The GeForce GTX G-Assist

Here's a protip, when the guy in the video looks like he's having a little too much fun being a hypeman, it's probably an April Fool's gag. Here's Nvidia introducing the G-Assist, which promises to bring the power of Nvidia's GeForce GPU to deliver artificial intelligence within gaming.

Its application, however, figures to open up a Pandora's Box of exploits, far more than just rubber banding a thumbstick to AFK grind for XP. I bet the For Honor folks pinched the bridge of their nose when they saw this. The GTX G-Assist has a slew of other optimizations and features that promise you'll never have to go AFK again.

Poopsock sold separately.

Update: Turtle Beach, makers of fine gaming headsets, weighs in with a similarly helpful product:

The Turtle Beach F-Bag

It’s like the inverse of a poopsock. It comes in three configurations.

Cave Dweller F-BAG: We’ve brought back long extinct animal and plant species from Paleolithic times through the magic of #science, and then lovingly slaughtered prepared them in delicious combinations for this one-of-a-kind F-BAG.

Simply YUGE F-BAG: The best way to achieve HUGE GAINS inside the gym or from the comfort of your couch!

Don’t Give a F-BAG: White Castle sliders, probably.

There’s even a chicken tendies joke. Well played, Turtle Beach.

IGN presents: Grand Theft Auto, the AMC series

Our colleagues at IGN get into the prestige TV business with this believable trailer matching Breaking Bad’s home with the video game most suited for its viewership.

Now for some unpaid advertisements:

8-Bit Bayonetta, from Sega

This is Sega's third swing at an 8-bit version of the action franchise. As PC Gamer notes, it's gotten 8-bit hoaxes in 2010, then in 2015 as PlatinumGames's 404 error page. (Which it still is.)

That same score-attack browser game is now available on Steam. However, buried within the game's puzzles is a link to this countdown page. Ordinarily we don't do announcements of announcements, but Bayonetta fans may wish to keep an eye on this.

World of Tanks: Mars Mode

Also playable, World of Tanks packs up the armor and sends it to Mars in a bid to steal Elon Musk's affection away from Overwatch. As you might expect, even big bad tanks are a lot lighter on Mars, which offers up all kinds of opportunities for Dukes-of-Hazzard jumps.

Mars Mode is a limited time offering within the game itself, until April 3. It brings back the M24 Lunar Chaffee, used in a previous gag set on the Moon.

What about ThinkGeek?

For those wondering, ThinkGeek's April Fool's gags are a "Where's Barb?" puzzle book (Stranger Things), a full-body snake temporary tattoo (Westworld) and a Hot Pockets sleeping bag (Hot Pockets). None of these are for sale but, who knows, they may be in the future.

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