So, this week Lucasfilm fired the directors of the Han Solo biopic and now Ron Howard is on the job. Why not? They last teamed up on Willow, and that did half as good as Crocodile Dundee 2 in 1988.
Speaking as someone who lives 20 minutes from real-life Mayberry, I feel qualified to comment on Opie's suitability for this task. My opinion is he needs a big piece of fan service if he's gonna pull it off. And courtesy of Funny or Die, here's just the guy to give it to him.
I mean, he’s kinda right. He is in great physical shape. That’s because he’s CGI. And if you work out the timelines, after Jar Jar Binks does his intergalactic John McCain/Susan Collins thing in the Imperial Senate, there’s still plenty of time for the Gungan busker to catch the eye of Lando and Han and redeem his legacy.
Let’s cut the crap. The Han Solo spin-off movie isn’t here because someone wants to tell us an interesting story about Han Solo. It’s here because Disney shareholders want to sell some Happy Meal toys and Battlefront DLC. So Jar Jar Binks would make as much sense as a surprise character as Zuckuss, Dengar or C-3PO, and you know he’s going to be in this somehow.