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Everything coming to Netflix, Hulu, Amazon and HBO in September

Good news for fans of Shaquille O’Neal’s All Star Comedy Jam

BoJack Horseman and his roommate Todd
BoJack Horseman
Netflix

Amazon, we need to talk. We’ve seen what you plan to put up for Prime streaming in September, and we’re growing concerned about your well-being.

Sacred Flesh? Virgin Among the Living Dead? Successive Slidings Of Pleasure? The 2016 Ben-Hur remake?!?! Now, we understand that you’re a growing company going through some big changes. But if you don’t get your act together soon, you’re gonna end up like Break.com. And you don’t want that, believe us.

Take Netflix, for example: It’s getting Disney classics like Hercules and Mulan on Sept. 1, Pocahontas on Sept. 14 and Beauty and the Beast on Sept. 19. Sure, Disney is cutting ties with Netflix in a few years, but viewers can count on the new season of BoJack Horseman to stick around forever, starting Sept. 8!

And Netflix is even rolling out Final Fantasy 14: Dad of Light on Sept. 1 for all the fans of online gaming and father-son relationships. See how Netflix has all of its genres covered except exploitative erotica, Amazon?

Or why not be more like Hulu? On Sept. 1, Hulu will add Tim Burton’s Batman and Batman Returns, as well as the first two Robocop movies. It even has its own Disney movies coming Sept. 5: The Emperor’s New Groove and Lilo & Stitch! Where is your heartwarming and family-friendly content, Amazon?

Even HBO is getting nerdy classics like Tron, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, and Hellboy 2: The Golden Army on Sept. 1. Plus, some of last year’s box office hits, like La La Land and Hidden Figures, will hit the streaming service in the middle of the month. And for the Assassin’s Creed die-hards out there, the feature film comes to HBO on Sept. 23. No Disney movies, but hey, there’s ... Alvin and The Chipmunks: The Squeakquel.

Sorry for being so hard on you, Amazon. We know you’ve got One Mississippi season 2 coming Sept. 8 and Transparent season 4 on its way Sept. 22. Those are good shows! But you’ve just gotta get your head outta the gutter. We only want what’s best for you.

NETFLIX

Sept. 1

Amores Perros

City of God

Dead Poets Society

Deep Blue Sea

Disney’s Hercules

Disney’s Mulan

FINAL FANTASY XIV Dad of Light, season 1

Fracture

Gangs of New York

Gone Baby Gone

High Risk

Hoodwinked

Hotel for Dogs

Jaws

Jaws 2

Jaws 3

Jaws: The Revenge

LEGO Elves: Secrets of Elvendale, season 1

Little Evil

Maniac, season 1

Narcos, season 3

Outside Man, volume 2

Pulp Fiction

Requiem for a Dream

Resurface

Shaq & Cedric the Entertainer Present: All Star Comedy Jam

Shaquille O’Neal Presents: All Star Comedy Jam: Live from Atlanta

Shaquille O’Neal Presents: All Star Comedy Jam: Live from Dallas

Shaquille O’Neal Presents: All Star Comedy Jam: Live from Las Vegas

Shaquille O’Neal Presents: All Star Comedy Jam: Live from Orlando

Shaquille O’Neal Presents: All Star Comedy Jam: Live from South Beach

She’s Gotta Have It

The B-Side: Elsa Dorfman’s Portrait Photography

The Last Shaman

The Lost Brother

The Rugrats Movie

The Secret Garden

The Squid and the Whale

West Coast Customs, season 5

Who the F**K is that Guy

Sept. 2

Vincent N Roxxy

Sept. 4

Graduation

Sept. 5

Carrie Pilby

Facing Darkness

Like Crazy

Marc Maron: Too Real

Newsies: The Broadway Musical

Sept. 6

A Good American

Hard Tide

Sept. 7

The Blacklist, season 4

Sept. 8

#realityhigh

Apaches, season 1

BoJack Horseman, season 4

Fabrizio Copano: Solo Pienso En Mi

Fire Chasers, season 1

Greenhouse Academy, season 1

Joaquín Reyes: Una y no más

Spirit: Riding Free, season 2

The Confession Tapes, season 1

The Walking Dead, season 7

Sept. 9

Portlandia, season 7

Sept. 11

The Forgotten

Sept. 12

Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

Sept. 13

Offspring, season 7

Ghost of the Mountains

Sept. 14

Disney’s Pocahontas

Sept. 15

American Vandal, season 1

First They Killed My Father

Foo Fighters: Back and Forth

George Harrison: Living in the Material World

LarcenyProject Mc²: Part 5

RumbleStrong Island

VeggieTales in the City, season 2

Sept. 18

Call the Midwife, series 6

The Journey Is the Destination

Sept. 19

Disney’s Beauty and the Beast

Jerry Before Seinfeld

Love, Sweat and Tears

Sept. 20

Carol

Sept. 21

Gotham, season 3

Sept. 22

Fuller House, season 3

Jack Whitehall: Travels with My Father, season 1

The Samaritan

Sept. 23

Alien Arrival

Sept. 25

Dark Matter, season 3

Sept. 26

Bachelorette

Night School

Restless Creature: Wendy Whelan

Terrace House: Aloha State: Part 4

Sept. 27

Absolutely Anything

Sept. 29

Big Mouth, season 1

Club de Cuervos, season 3

Gerald’s Game

Real Rob, season 2

Paul Hollywood’s Big Continental Road Trip, season 1

Our Souls at Nights

The Magic School Bus Rides Again, season 1

Sept. 30

Murder Maps, season 3

HULU

Sept. 1

Keeping Up With the Kardashians, season 13

A River Runs Through It

Addam’s Family Values

The Addams Family

Akeelah and the Bee

American Loser

An Inconvenient Truth

And You Thought Your Parents Were Weird

Autopsy

Barnyard

Batman (1989)

Batman Returns

Best Seller

Bio-Dome

The Black Stallion

The Blue Lagoon

Butterfly Effect 3: Revelations

Carrie (1976)

Contact

The Cove

The Cup

Dances with Wolves

Dare Not Walk Alone

The Dark Half

Disturbing Behavior

Dead Hands Dig Deep

Defiance

Down to Earth

Dr. Strange (2006)

Dying Breed

Eternity: The Movie

Fools Rush In

Fright Night

The Golden Child

Gridiron Heroes

Harriet the Spy

History of Jazz: Oxygen for the Ears

Hitch

Home Sweet Hell

Indecent Proposal

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956)

The Invincible Iron Man

Kama Sutra: A Tale of Love

Kill Me, Deadly

L.A. Twister

Lars and the Real Girl

Last Chance Harvey

The Last Godfather

The Levenger Tapes

The Loved Ones

Mad Hot Ballroom

Man About Town

The Men Who Stare at Goats

Mistress

The Monster Squad

My Girl

My Girl 2

Nacho Libre

The Neverending Story

The Object of Beauty

Offspring

Ordinary People

Outbreak

The Pelican Brief

Planet Hulk

Poseidon

Princess Kaiulani

Pumpkinhead

The Rage — Carrie 2

Red Garters

Remember the Goal

Return to the Blue Lagoon

River’s Edge

Robocop

Robocop 2

Sanctuary

Secretary

Shooter

The Silence of the Lambs

Silent Hill

Sinbad: Beyond the Veil of Mists

Sleepover

Spring Broke

Something to Talk About

Stomp the Yard

Surfer, Dude

Switchback

Tiger Raid

Thor: Tales of Asgard

Ultimate Avengers 2

Ultimate Avengers: The Movie

Ultraviolet

Walking Tall

You Got Served

You Got Served: Beat the World

Sept. 2

Adventure Time, season 8

Ben-Hur (2016)

Freaky Friday (1977)

Freaky Friday (2003)

Sept. 3

The Eye

Sept. 5

The Emperor’s New Groove

Insatiable: The Homaro Cantu Story

Lilo & Stitch

The Lodge

Returning Citizens

Survivor

Sept. 6

Crash

Sept. 7

Total Bellas, season 2 premiere

Burden

Sept. 9

The Magnificent Seven (2016)

Sept. 11

The Orville, series premiere

Top of the Lake: China Girl, 3-day premiere event

Sept. 12

The Mindy Project, season 6 premiere

Filth

Sept. 13

Anomaly

Once Upon a Time in Shanghai

Sept. 14

South Park, season 21

Robo-Dog: Airborne

Sept. 15

Good Behavior, season 1

An American Werewolf in London

Child of God

Endless Love

The Lookalike

The Road Within

Skating to New York

The Thaw

These Final Hours

The Women of Brewster Place

Sept. 16

Tyler Perry’s Madea Goes to Jail

Sept. 19

Straight/Curve: Challenging the Beauty

Sept. 20

Pirates

Sept. 21

The Commune

Food Evolution

Sept. 22

Doc McStuffins, season 4

Interview with a Hitman

Kiki

Killers

McCanick

Sword of Vengeance

Vengeance of an Assassin

Sept. 23

Grey’s Anatomy, season 13 premiere

Your Pretty Face is Going to Hell, season 3

Sept. 25

Miles From Tomorrowland, season 2

Power, season 3

The Double

Sept. 26

The Brave, series premiere

The Voice, season 13 premiere

Sept. 27

Brooklyn Nine-Nine, season 5 premiere

Law & Order True Crime: The Menendez Murders series premiere

Lethal Weapon, season 2 premiere

The Mick, season 2 premiere

This Is Us, season 2 premiere

The ABC’s of Death

Frankie & Alice

Hammer of the Gods

I Saw the Devil

Kiss of the Damned

Let the Right One In

Splinter

Survival of the Dead

V/H/S

V/H/S 2

Sept. 28

Chicago P.D., season 5 premiere

Empire, season 4 premiere

Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, season 19 premiere

Star, season 2 premiere

Dance Flick

Sept. 29

Family Matters, complete series

Full House, complete series

Hangin’ With Mr. Cooper, complete series

Perfect Strangers, complete series

Step By Step, complete series

Chicago Fire, season 6 premiere

Ghosted, series premiere

The Good Place, season 2 premiere

Gotham, season 4 premiere

Great News, season 2 premiere

Superstore, season 3 premiere

Will & Grace, season 9 premiere

Sept. 30

Hell’s Kitchen, season 17 premiere

The Evil in Us

Once Upon a Time in Venice

AMAZON

Sept. 1

Unsolved Mysteries: Original Robert Stack Episodes, season 8

American Loser

American Ruling Class

And You Thought Your Parents Were Weird

Autopsy

Best Seller

Bio-Dome

Blood Car

Boy

Breathing

Butterfly Effect 3: Revelations

Calloused Hands

Carrie (1976)

Charlotte Rampling: The Look

Clip

Computer Chess

Dark Ride

Dead Weight

Dirty Dancing

Disturbing Behavior

Double Headed Eagle

Double Take

Down To Earth

Duane Michaels: The Man Who Invented Himself

Dying Breed

Free Radicals

Ganja & Hess

Gogol Bordello: Non Stop

Hippie Masala

Holes In My Shoes

Huff

In The Land Of The Deaf

Indecent Proposal

Kama Sutra: A Tale Of Love

Khodorkovsky

Kingdom Of Shadows

Korkoro

La Maison De La Radio

Lars And The Real Girl

Lipstick & Dynamite: The First Ladies of Wrestling

Look Both Ways

Man About Town

Manuscripts Don’t Burn

Meditate And Destroy

Mistress

Mr. X

Music From The Big House

Nollywood Babylon

Offspring

Primitive London

Princess Kaiulani

Pumpkinhead

Red Garters

River’s Edge

Sacred Flesh

Sacrifice

Schoolgirl Hitchhikers

Sleepover

Successive Slidings Of Pleasure

Switchback

The Black Stallion

The Bloodsucker Leads The Dance

The Cove

The Cup

The Dark Half

The Fairy

The Giants

The Golden Child

The Hills Have Eyes 2

The Last Godfather

The New Public

The Object Of Beauty

The Rage - Carrie 2

The Revisionaries

The Search For One Eyed Jimmy

The Sinful Nuns Of Saint Valentine

The Workshop

This Ain’t No Mouse Music

Truth In Numbers? Everything According to Wikipedia

Vanishing Waves

Videocracy

Virgin Among The Living Dead

Virgin Witch

Web Junkie

Wedding Crashers

When I Saw You

Wide Awake

With One Voice

Sept. 2

Ben-Hur (2016)

Sept. 7

The Hunter’s Prayer

Tubelight

Sept. 8

One Mississippi, season 2

Sept. 9

The Magnificent Seven (2016)

Sept. 10

Meri Pyaari Bindu

Sept. 11

Frantz

Sept. 12

The Ray Bradbury Theater, season 6

ReGenesis, seasons 2-4

Sept. 15

An American Werewolf In London

Endless Love

The Thaw

The Women Of Brewster Place

Beauty And The Baker, season 1

Sept. 16

Tyler Perry’s Madea Goes To Jail

Sept. 19

Straight/Curve: Challenging The Beauty

Sept. 21

Kill Switch

Sept. 22

Transparent, season 4

Sept. 23

Elian

Sept. 25

Bronte Sisters, season 1

Sept. 26

Wishenpoof!, season 2a

Unsolved Mysteries: Original Robert Stack Episodes, season 9

Sept. 28

Dance Flick

Thursday Night Football, game 1

HBO

Sept. 1

Al Final Del Tunel (AKA At the End of the Tunnel)

Alvin and The Chipmunks: The Squeakquel

The Amityville Horror (2005)

Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me

Body of Lies

The Crew

Dumb and Dumber

The Express

Fantastic Voyage

Fried Green Tomatoes : Director's Cut

Halloween: Resurrection

Head of State

Hellboy 2: The Golden Army

How High

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Keeping the Faith

Maximum Overdrive

My Sister's Keeper

Scarface

Scent of a Woman

Sea of Love

Sex and the City: The Movie  —  Extended Version

Stick It

Traders

Tron

Sept. 2

A Monster Calls

Sesame Street, season 47

Sept. 6

Hard Knocks '17  —  Training Camp with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Sept. 8

J Balvin: Bruuttal

Sept. 9

Hidden Figures

Sept. 10

The Deuce, series premiere

Insecure, season 2 finale

Sept. 11

HBO First Look: Battle of the Sexes

Sept. 13

Kingsman: The Golden Circle: HBO First Look (9/13)

Sept. 15

Maquinaria Panamericana (AKA Panamerican Machinery)

Sept. 16

La La Land

Sept. 17

Vice Principals, season 2 premiere

Sept. 22

Yo Soy Un Politico (AKA I Am A Politician)

Sept. 23

Assassin's Creed

Sept. 24

Ballers, season 3 finale

Sept. 25

Clinica de Migrantes: Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness

Sept. 30

Felipe Esparza: Translate This

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