Barbie-as-Lara-Croft outfits the heroine — now 58 years old and man, I didn’t know that — in the gray tank top and brown cargo pants that have signified the adventurer since the series reboot in 2103. She’s self-bandaged at the thigh and bicep, and brandishes a climbing axe/weapon in her non-gloved hand.
Barbie.com is offering the Tomb Raider figure for pre-order beginning tomorrow. She’s $29.99. Accessories include a map, journal and doll stand in addition to the axe. There’s also a certificate of authenticity.
Tomb Raider is coming back to movie screens with a reboot that premieres March 16. Alicia Vikander stars in a lead role that corresponds more to the grimy, grubby, getting-her-ass-kicked Lara Croft we’ve come to know over the past five years, as opposed to Angelina Jolie’s sleek portrayal in 2001 and 2003. There’s another Tomb Raider game coming sometime this year, and we’ll probably learn more about that after the film debuts.
Video game movie adaptations have not done well, — despite a large, mainstream constituency that badly wants and needs a good one. The last franchise with any kind of Hollywood-level story in it, Assassin’s Creed in 2016, brought some A-list acting firepower and still faceplanted.
But — maybe Tomb Raider (2018) will change that! Who knows. If nothing else, the doll is still pretty cool. I like the idea of kids tying on improvised bandages to show how badass they are. When I played superhero 40 years ago, I wore white underpants on my head. Look, man, it was the 1970s, and we were the vanguard of modern cosplay. Now get off my lawn.