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David Lynch will help you learn to type in this new game

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Typing lesson games are coming back, baby!

Learning to type is an important life lesson, and who better to teach you the proper way to glide across a keyboard than noted technophile David Lynch?

David Lynch Teaches Typing is a new game from Rhino Stew Productions, a company that makes experimental narratives and is led by Luke Palmer. The game uses Lynch’s imposing visage to help people learn to type. Players will learn to use the home row, upper row, lower row and number pad areas of the keyboard properly.

David Lynch Teaches Typing - home row
Learning the basics in David Lynch Teaches Typing on a “Maclaclantosh 900” computer.
Rhino Stew Productions

Rhino Stew describes David Lynch Teaches Typing as a “short playable interactive comedy game,” which means it’s probably not going to be the most effective way to learn how to type 100 words per minute — but do you really need that skill? Ask yourself just how frequently you’re typing ferociously on a keyboard. I would hazard a guess that outside of the occasional Twitter rant, it’s probably not that often. The game is probably just as fun if you spend your time ignoring the instructions on screen, picturing David Lynch becoming increasingly disappointed in you.

Those of us fortunate enough to sit through computer lab classes in elementary school — shaking our heads in arrogance at instructors who thought they could teach us, the AIM generation, how to type — may even find some nostalgic value in playing David Lynch Teaches Typing. I want to take this opportunity to apologize to my sixth-grade teacher, whom I ignored while playing Sammy’s Science House during her class, spending my time clicking a mouse instead of typing on a keyboard. You were right: Typing is an incredibly valuable skill. I’m going to try and make it up to you by playing this new game.

David Lynch Teaches Typing is available free for Mac and Windows PC on itch.io.