This horny Switch game wants to get you talkin’ dirty

One year later, it’s here: the Nintendo Switch’s most shamelessly horny ... interactive experience. Shin Den Ai (Nani ga Hoshii no?) ～Eri Kitami～ is hard to call an actual game, from what I’ve experienced. The download, part of publisher Dorasu’s line of Shin Den Ai apps, is a vehicle both for adult model Kitami and for your most carnal impulses.

We’re all adults here, so let’s get right to it. Shin Den Ai (Nani ga Hoshii no?) ～Eri Kitami～, which launches on the Japanese eShop March 29 for 500 yen, is a port of an Android game that has a very basic premise. You have a selection of costumed lady contacts, each played by Kitami; you can choose to call up whoever you’re feeling, whether it’s Sexy Teacher or Sexy Maid or Sexy Cosplayer or so on and so forth. Depending on how you respond to that big question — What do you want? — they might text you a pic or a video. There are apparently more than 150 of these texts, which I can only assume get progressively racier.

Dorasu

If the base set isn’t sufficient, Dorasu is also selling premium content that features additional and completely uninhibited Eri Kitami characters for 300 yen each, or the complete set of six for 1,000 yen.

I downloaded the free Android version to get a sense of just how hot this game gets. The problem is that I’m not into ladies, am completely dead inside and, most importantly, can’t read Japanese. Somehow, I got Sexy Baby to send me a video at the end of our yes-and-no phone call. That video looked like this:

Dorasu

Again, I imagine things get hotter from here, not that the bar is set very high.

Maybe I couldn’t figure out Eri Kitami’s game while actually playing it, but its Nintendo store page helps clear things up. Screens show that a lot of these ladies don’t waste their time mincing words: Downloadable lady-friend Sexy Catsuit Girl asks straight up if you want to get her “wet,” and then sends you a ton of pics of her boobs and booty. (They’re all clothed, as far as I can tell.)

I respect their honesty, especially from my perspective of living in a culture where puritanical views of sex continue to dominate. But I, too, must be honest: Beyond getting teased by Eri Kitami’s wildly diverse characters, there’s literally nothing else to do. And why buy a Nintendo Switch game for something you can do for free?