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Fatter Cat is the best mount in Final Fantasy 14 now

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Move over, Emerald Carbuncle. There’s a new mount in town

The Final Fantasy 14 Fatter Cat mount flies
Cool guys don’t look at explosions
Square Enix

The newest cosmetic to be added to the Final Fantasy 14 cosmetics shop is Fatter Cat, an adorable chonky mount version of the minion we already know and love, Fat Cat.

Fatter Cat was datamined when patch 4.5 dropped, but just released today, after much anticipation. The mount is available to buy for a whopping $24 on Mog Station, the MMO’s cosmetics shop, though the mount goes to all the characters across your account. Everyone gets a Fatter Cat!

Don’t let its cute chub fool you, though. Fatter Cat’s origins are questionable at best. Here’s what the game says about it on the mount screen:

Seeing as how this pursy pussy can defy the very laws of physics by propelling itself high into the firmament, it is very likely that the creature is either a voidsent using a bloated cat’s corpse as its corporeal vessel, or a deceased pet reanimated by one well versed in the necromantic arts.

Thanks! I hate it. I hate the phrase “pursy pussy” and I don’t like that my Fatter Cat is a reanimated corpse. The original Fat Cat minion description states that it stays alive by “following retainers and feeding off the slaughter left in their wakes.” The NPC, Senri, who is a Fat Cat, also notes that she could “kill you five times before you hit the ground.” I guess all of these chonky cats are just brutal. At least they’re cute.

Obviously, I immediately logged in to nab myself a Fatter Cat and was greeted by a group in Rhalgar’s Reach all sitting appropriately. I joined in.

Final Fantasy 14’s Fatter Cat mounts
A bond was formed with these random people today
Square Enix Co., LTD.