After trying to beat Skyrim with only a fork, YouTuber Mitten Squad is back again with an ill-advised adventure. This time, our fearless hero tries to answer an important question: Can you beat Skyrim with only a torch?
At first, a torch-only run presents big problems. He needs to let friendlies do battles for him, or he ends up running away from battles. Then, once he’s out of the opening area, Mitten Squad is surprised to learn that many of the first merchants do not carry torches for sale. This is when Mitten Squad throws himself into jail on purpose just to acquire his weapon of choice.
As it turns out, torches are only carried in one hand but aren’t considered one-handed weapons. To wield a torch in this capacity, Mitten Squad needs good blocking skills, which is why he goes with the Imperial class. Apparently, torches do more damage than forks — but attacking with a torch drains stamina. Mitten Squad also has to worry about timing, as torches burn out after four minutes. In the beginning, even low-level bandits take forever to kill.
Mitten Squad ends up getting a skill that helps his bashing do five times more damage, which helps him a little bit in battle. It’s not until Mitten Squad discovers the infinite powers of soup, however, that the whole challenge starts feeling tenable.
Vegetable soup restores one health and one stamina per second for about 12 minutes, which makes it a perfect accompaniment for a torch player. Hilariously, Mitten Squad starts running around with dozens of bowls full of soup just to stand a chance against increasingly difficult enemies. With soup, he becomes powerful enough to stagger a dragon.
In the end, Mitten Squad defeats Alduin using nothing but a torch — and a hell of a lot of soup. What a journey.
