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I’ve uncovered a nefarious Animal Crossing plot about Gulliver

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Something doesn’t add up here

a seagull in a sailor costume is sleeping on a beach next at the feet of a young woman carrying a pole in Animal Crossing: New Horizons Image: Nintendo EPD/Nintendo via Polygon

Animal Crossing: New Horizons has been out for a few weeks now, and during that time, Gulliver the seagull has washed up on my island around five times. At first, I welcomed the sight of the seabird — a prize was imminent! Now, I’m starting to get worried.

Something about the whole thing doesn’t sit right with me. Every time, Gulliver stands up in a daze, saying that he must have fallen asleep and then gone overboard. His phone is always smashed, leaving him with no way to contact his crew. And when he calls his mates, they somehow never know where he is even though he always ends up in the same place.

How could this be? How could this happen over and over again, in the same way — and with Gulliver landing on an island that, up until somewhat recently, was deserted? How is it that the communicator parts are always buried in the sand across vast stretches of the island, as if someone didn’t want them to be found?

In short, I’m starting to believe that perhaps Gulliver’s crew members are sabotaging him on purpose, and hoping each time that it actually sticks. I have no other way of explaining why it always takes them an entire day to save their captain, even though they should know exactly where he is. It’s only fitting, then, that players keep joking that a murder has transpired when they see Gulliver’s body. It’s close — an attempted murder, my gut says.

Maybe Gulliver shouldn’t have licked those cookies that he talks about in his sleep? But by god, man, you need to get a new, more trustworthy crew!