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Maybe you’ve seen that viral clip where an Animal Crossing: New Horizons start screen shows poor Dom, trapped at the front of his house as a sea of snapping turtles spills into the distance. As it turns out, this wasn’t a one-off bout of hijinks. The player who owns an army of turtles has since been using them to do unspeakable things to their villagers.
Fan @miltank211, whose love of turtles predates Animal Crossing, has got capturing the freshwater animal down to a science — which might explain why the Twitter user has so many of them. This horde of turtles are being used against the entire village, from the looks of it.
みんなでお昼寝タイム ちゃちゃまるだけあみ持ったまま寝ててかわいい! #あつ森 #どうぶつの森 #AnimalCrossing #ACNH #NintendoSwitch pic.twitter.com/RwiPnqYPsA
— ミルタンク@あつ森 (@miltank211) May 15, 2020
Consider the image above. How @miltank211 managed to get everyone in bed in the first place, I have no idea. But this is just the start of what is, frankly, a staggeringly creative use of Animal Crossing’s placeable turtles.
In @miltank221’s experiments with turtles, the player discovered that villagers will sometimes try running away when dangerous creatures, like scorpions, are nearby:
サソリ頭いい... #あつ森 #どうぶつの森 #AnimalCrossing #ACNH #NintendoSwitch pic.twitter.com/gq4zRAeX3n
— ミルタンク@あつ森 (@miltank211) May 17, 2020
This led to the creation of snapping turtle race tracks, where villagers are set to run around in circles in an attempt to escape:
ちゃちゃまると一緒にトレーニング #あつ森 #どうぶつの森 #AnimalCrossing #ACNH #NintendoSwitch pic.twitter.com/IG6N7LtN8b
— ミルタンク@あつ森 (@miltank211) May 17, 2020
#あつ森 #どうぶつの森 #AnimalCrossing #ACNH #NintendoSwitch pic.twitter.com/9jtKGLF4uB
— ミルタンク@あつ森 (@miltank211) May 18, 2020
But then @miltank211 took this one step further and started making villagers race one another by confining them with turtles while a predator is nearby. It seems that, in order for this to work, the player needs to have a fairly empty piece of land, which may prompt a scorpion or tarantula to spawn in the first place.
女子住民100m走 #あつ森 #どうぶつの森 #AnimalCrossing #ACNH #NintendoSwitch pic.twitter.com/mrr0fZtK37
— ミルタンク@あつ森 (@miltank211) May 17, 2020
The tracks have only gotten more elaborate, with this one ending on a pitfall trap.
男子住民100m走 ちゃちゃまるが速くてジュンくん遅い #あつ森 #どうぶつの森 #AnimalCrossing #ACNH #NintendoSwitch pic.twitter.com/dMwT1WPenx
— ミルタンク@あつ森 (@miltank211) May 18, 2020
Of course, even within this fuckery, there’s still even more granular ways to mess with trapped villagers confined in this snapping turtle hell:
さすがに勝てないか #あつ森 #どうぶつの森 #AnimalCrossing #ACNH #NintendoSwitch pic.twitter.com/IXYcEwlGBi
— ミルタンク@あつ森 (@miltank211) May 18, 2020
I don’t know how people come up with these things, but I can say one thing for certain: Every day we stray further from god’s light.
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