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There’s a giant mouth on my spaceship and it’s freaking me out

I did not authorize this new roommate

Warframe - the Helminth mouth in the back of a player spaceship Image: Digital Extremes

I have a spaceship that I’ve carefully set up to be as pretty as possible. I have my favorite tunes playing on the radio, the walls are pink and blue, and I even have shelves full of cute bobbleheads and accessories. There’s just one problem: There’s a room at the back of my ship with a giant, hungry, fleshy mouth.

When I walk in with my beloved pet cat, who I’ve dressed up in a cute lil’ witchy outfit, the mouth likes to gulp my cat down and suckle on it for a while, making very fleshy noises the whole while. I don’t like this! It’s like a very gross Piranha Plant, and I gotta deal with it if I want to get stronger.

Warframe gives every player a small, personal spaceship called an Orbiter, and every Orbiter has an infested room. Up until now, this room has had minimal function, but the Heart of Deimos update made the infested room a major upgrade hub for players. Players can now feed their Warframes — which are kind of like MMO characters or MOBA champions — to a mouth that now lives in the infected room. After the armor is totally dissolved, the mouth gives the player access to that Warframe’s signature ability, equippable on any other Warframe.

Other developers would have taken the cowardly route. They would have had you access this upgrade system via a computer terminal, or a humble UI menu. Warframe has tread where no one else dared: The developers made it so you have to interact with a big, goofy, slurpy mouth in order to get access to the latest, greatest upgrades.

But don’t worry — you absolutely get to form a bond with the mouth. First of all, you can give your mouth a name! I call the big one Bitey. You can also use your ship customization tools on your mouth, and players have already found the best ways to accent his natural charms.

For instance, you can absolutely smother your mouth with valuable statues.

Or why not give your mouth a stylish set of goggles?

One enterprising fan even made their spaceship flesh mouth into an art exhibit that celebrates both the absurdity of Warframe itself, and a popular meme.

While I have yet to really crack into the upgrade system and assess how good it is from a sheer gameplay level, I find that I love Warframe all the more for its ridiculous take on normal mechanics. This game is entirely on its own bullshit to a degree that I find endearing. It’s a game that is unafraid to do bold things like put a giant mouth making kissie gestures at you in the back of your spaceship.

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