Twitch streamer Amouranth said that she is safe and has gotten access back to her social media and bank accounts in a stream on Monday. For Amouranth, whose real name is Kaitlyn Siragusa, it was her first Twitch stream since her stream on Saturday, in which she said that her husband was manipulating and abusing her.
Amouranth said she’s now seeking “legal and emotional counsel,” and added that her husband is “not here, he’s getting help.”
In the hourlong video, Amouranth gave updates on how she’s doing, and sought comfort from her dogs who were on the stream with her, and who she said are also safe. (The stream starts around the 33-minute mark.) She opened by mentioning that her friends and family — and even her “haters” — had reached out to offer their support. She said that the outpouring of support surprised her, a sentiment she echoed numerous times throughout the video.
“I felt so alone for so long,” Amouranth said. “And now it’s like I can’t stop getting people to talk to me. Not in a bad way; it’s just a very big contrast because I didn’t think people cared that much.”
Amouranth went into greater detail about her relationship with her husband, which she said had its ups and downs historically, with periods where his abusive behavior was “dormant.” Amouranth explained that she’d recorded her husband’s verbal abuse before, but that he’d “refused to listen to recordings” of himself prior to the stream on Saturday.
“That’s actually the first time he’s ever heard himself on a recording,” she said. In that stream, which has since been removed from Twitch but has been circulated widely on the internet, Amouranth said that her husband threatened to kill her dogs, controlled her finances, and directed her to tell her viewers that she was single so as not to “ruin the business model.” In that stream, she spoke on the phone with a man who she said was her husband. The man’s voice can be heard shouting and threatening to “irrevocably fucking destroy everything.”
On Monday’s stream, Amouranth opened up about her struggle to keep the abusive relationship “private,” noting that the police had been unhelpful in past situations, because she had not been physically harmed.
After opening up the chat, Amouranth responded to questions about her current plans by saying she didn’t know when she would return to a full-time schedule, but that she’ll be taking it easy in the near future, making space to “process everything,” and seeking therapy. “It’s kind of crazy what that kind of trauma does to you,” Amouranth said. “You start to think you’re the crazy one who deserves it.”
Amouranth said she does eventually plan on streaming again, and she expressed gratitude toward her team and her intention to use her platform for positive purposes, reiterating her love of and hope of doing work for the benefit of animals. She mentioned that the desire to protect her dogs was what led her to “snap” against her abuser. She’s added that she’s looking forward to setting her own terms with her work, and no longer fearing her husband “storming in and yelling” while she streams.
“I don’t have to wear cleavage every day. I can wear clothes,” she said. “I get to sleep for eight hours tonight for once.” She described being on autopilot, grinding, and doing 12-15 hour streams. “I’ve been a Truman Show for too long.”
Other parts of her life look to be opening up, too. Amouranth shared some of the things she’s looking forward to getting to do again, like seeing her horses, watching television, going camping, and being able to “have friends again.”
“I just want to get back to what I like doing,” she said. “I’m positive about the future, I’m happy about it, that I’m free. It’s just still a lot.”
If you or anyone you know is experiencing abuse at home, the national domestic abuse hotline is available 24 hours a day. Call 800-799-7233 for help.