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Behold the incredibly blursed Dagoth Ur pie

How can you eat a god?!?!

A slightly burnt pie designed to look like Dagoth Ur from Morrowind. Photo: Molly Carroll

The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind is still an RPG classic, known for its expansive world, fussy roll-based combat mechanics, and wild collection of characters. More than two decades since the game’s initial launch, its most storied villain has ended up in an unexpected, delicious place. Yes, I am talking about the Dagoth Ur pie, the immortal delicacy for dreamers, and a snack for only the most intrepid (or perhaps the most naive).

The pie came to be in the second week of February, when Molly Carroll, director of PR and communications at Larian Studios, and her partner saw an Instagram reel of someone making a (deeply cursed) face pie.

“My partner knows I love Morrowind and pointed out that IN FACT, Dagoth Ur (Lord High Councillor of the House Dagoth, the Sixth House, the Tribe Unmourned) wears a mask that would lend itself really well to a pie,” Carroll told me, via Twitter DM. “He was totally right, and I had no choice but to make it. I also had a lot of apples I needed to use up.” (Relatable.)

The baking process took around two hours, with 20 minutes dedicated to making the dough. She followed Smitten Kitten’s flaky pie crust recipe — which I mention in case any readers wish to make their own handsome Dagoth Ur — then chilled the crust overnight before moving onto the other steps.

Peeling, coring, and laying out the many tiny apples was the most time-consuming part. “I tried to arrange the apples so there’d be little lumps where his cheekbones would be,” Carroll told me. “Attempting to recreate Dagoth Ur’s golden visage only took me another 20 minutes.” That said, she did run up against some construction challenges, as this was her first run at a pie with a crust more complicated than a lattice. It was tough to cut out the nose, but she pushed on, and used an egg wash to attach various facial features.

When she posted a photo of the unbaked pie to Twitter on Feb. 12, the response was uproarious. Fans commented on the idea, and also sent in tons of AI Dagoth Ur clips — a recent meme in which people use Elevenlabs’ AI speech software to make the Morrowind villain read random things.

Unfortunately, the actual bake process was a bit rocky, as butter from the crust dripped in the oven and caused some smoke, leading to an unfavorably smoky taste to the apple pie. “The crust was slightly burnt, which did not taste great but perhaps accurately reflected Dagoth Ur’s spirit after being cruelly struck down by his pal Lord Nerevar beneath Red Mountain,” Carroll said.

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