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What to do with your PS5 when you’re not playing it this (or any) month

A helpful guide

A very bad photoshop of an image showing off the Playstation 5 and its DualSense controller with a giant fucking thinking emoji looming in the upper right hand corner Illustration: Joshua Rivera/Polygon

To everything there is a season — of the many ideas in the Bible, this is one of the truer ones. This month, for some reason I cannot fathom, I have a hunch that it may not be the PlayStation 5’s season any longer. At least, for a little while.

If you happen to agree, you may be wondering: What should I do with my PS5 in this dark time in its life? Worry not! You have so many options for putting the most visually distinctive console on the market to good use while you are busy, perhaps playing video games on some other device.

Here are some ideas:

  • bookend
  • diffuser/incense holder
  • riser for party platters
  • cat warmer
  • objet d’art
  • dress-up doll
  • expensive night light
  • cheese board (digital PS5 only)
  • conversation starter (Example: “What do you think lives inside it?”)
  • very bad kiln
  • picnic blanket weight
  • murder weapon in live-read of an ’80s or ’90s thriller
  • still-life subject
  • weird bottle opener
  • gender reveal prop
  • gender conceal prop
  • tiny sled
  • large football
  • useless bridge
  • sushi platter
  • body armor
  • recreational drug surface
  • push-up weight
  • TikTok inspiration
  • canvas (acrylics)
  • canvas (graffiti)
  • friend

Hopefully that is enough to get you to consider the many possibilities that await you and your PS5 in this new phase of your lives together. Make sure you never part ways with it without first letting it know how much you cherished this season of friendship as you move on to the next.

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