I write you today to share something — nay, someone dear to my heart. In my many journeys from streaming network to streaming network, embarked upon from screens large and small, I have met a great many souls. Some lovely, some wicked, some droll, and some ebullient. I met the man I speak of on Max (née HBO Max), on the wondrous comedy programme The Other Two. His name is Lance Arroyo (also known by the nomme de guerre Josh Segarra), and he is the most sublime himbo to currently grace our planet’s airwaves.
But what is a himbo? How shall I know that I’ve found one? Such questions may bring you anguish, but they needn’t. The phenotype of himbo, as many learned scholars have assured me, is quite simple to discern. There must be three primary traits: A himbo presents as masculine, they appear strong — pouring into their physique what they lack in wits — and most importantly, they are kind.
Lance is all of these things in spite of some extraordinary circumstances, namely his entanglement with Brooke Dubek (Heléne Yorke), one of the series’ titular Two. She, like her brother Cary (Drew Tarver), is a shameless, attention-starved striver who longs to be as famous as her younger brother, a pop star, or her mother, a talk show host. She is not, however, because she enjoys being mean, often to Lance, her partner, thus creating the perfect circumstances for him to exhibit his himbo behavior.
When one watches The Other Two, they will observe Lance moving through the world both handsomely and kindly no matter what invective is sent his way. His smile is a force of nature, a grin that can weather a hurricane while somehow uttering complete sentences. His eyes charmingly squint when he talks, perhaps because that is easier than thinking about what he has to say. And the things he has to say? They are either of no consequence at all or completely reassuring, and sometimes both at once.
He is noble, having left his burgeoning career as a sneaker influencer to become a nurse. He is sweet, always making time for his partner’s siblings. And he is gracious, taking his partner’s pettiness in stride and never letting it bother him in front of her. He also showers a lot, because he is now a medical professional and that is just proper protocol.
This is the primary conflict between Lance and his partner Brooke in The Other Two of late — Lance is such a good person that Brooke, a woman of sharp wit and dull conscience, cannot stand it. And Lance, the pure soul that he is, does not know to respond in a way that is anything other than kind. Or hot. Or both.
It is my deepest wish that you take some time in your busy schedule to spend with Lance. I think there is much to learn from him, or at least appreciate, when it comes to the gentle, subtle art of being a himbo. This is a subjective determination, it’s true, but few people are so singularly adept at each of the three Core Himbo Traits. He may be the greatest talent in the field, and I hope he gets to ply his trade for many years to come.
Now I must bid you farewell. Until I encounter another wonderful character to tell you about, I wish you well and happy streaming. I remain now, as always, your faithful servant