Before the world of A Quiet Place became a quiet place, it was a LOUD PLACE. And based on the first trailer for this June’s A Quiet Place: Day One, it was particularly loud on day one, when a species of snarling echolocation-reliant aliens crashed on Earth. As teased in John Krasinski’s newspaper-clipping mosaic in the first movie, New York City went into full lockdown after the ETs arrived. Day One, which gets a big spooky trailer that will premiere to the masses at 2024 Super Bowl LVIII, chronicles that fateful day in the Big Apple.
Anyone who has clocked time in New York knows the city is not the ideal location for a quiet showdown with an alien race. While many natives would cheer the extraterrestrials on as they chased Times Square’s Elmo impersonators through the crowds of Broadway-goers before eventually passing out at Jimmy Buffett’s Margaritaville, the truth is they would inevitably turn to the outer boroughs. “Protect Union Pool!” the Brooklyn twenty-somethings would squeal as they scrambled for one more PBR, knowing the end was inevitable.
Directed by Michael Sarnoski, A Quiet Place: Day One has War of the Worlds and Cloverfield vibes, with Oscar-winner Lupita Nyong’o in the role of Exasperated Silent Movie Star. It looks like big dumb fun, but it’s specific location raises a question I, a reformed New Yorker, am always asking myself: If shit like this really went down, where would I go? Maybe it’s the memories of 9/11 that are impossible to shake, or Hollywood’s insistence on exploiting that live-TV moment into disaster films, or the unshakeable anxious feeling that when you live on an island with a ton of bridges and tunnels that something could go wrong and suddenly you’ll be trapped (that Sylvester Stallone movie Daylight really did a number on my ability to calmly drive through Holland Tunnel), but now when I see wanton destruction of New York like the kind on display in A Quiet Place: Day One, I wonder where I would go.
One thing I would not do: create a whiteboard like John Krasinski.
Here are a New Yorker’s options, I think. They can go east to Long Island, where a straight shot road-wise could take me to where there’s woods and fishing and some remote lodging to crash. They can go West through the tunnels and then just keep going in hopes of outrunning the aliens. They could gamble going north toward a cold climate that might freeze the beasties out (but do the same to the escapee if they forgot a jacket). Or they could go south toward Florida, where there’s less worry of weather or running of supply-filled box stores. Forget about a car in this scenario — we’re trying to stay quiet here!
A Quiet Place: Day One hits theaters on June 28. Until then, and likely during the feature presentation as well, my mind will be overthinking my game plan for exactly how I will deal with invading super-hearing aliens. Please offer your own suggestions as I also peruse bunker supplies. Oh wow, I can get 31 ounces of powdered eggs that are shelf-stable for 25 years for just $70…