The San Diego Comic-Con news generator

SDCC won’t bring down any roofs this year, so this is the next best thing

Illustration: Austin MacDonald for Polygon

The 2021 San Diego Comic-Con will once again take place virtually, with a bevy of livestreamed panels rolling out all weekend. And while many of the major studios will pop up in some shape or form, the YouTube-hosted experience isn’t expected to be the whirlwind of project reveals, event series announcements, casting news, and general surprises that have come to define the modern con. It’s one thing to bring fandoms together in a digital space, but another thing to melt them into puddles on the floor of Hall H. 

To make up for the bombast of an Actual Real-Life Comic-Con, we decided to stage the next best thing: a simulation of what could have been. In an era where passion projects intersect directly with capitalist IP-mining, where every twist needs a second twist to give it that internet-friendly glow, we’ve plugged the most far-fetched pitches into our patented news generator to produce the most San Diego Comic-Con-sounding headlines imaginable. 

You may not be able to be on the floor this year, but this should tide you over until the next real convention.