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“Now, go get him, Tiger,” says the Devil, with his goatee and his little horns, dressed in a suit with a red tie, in Hellblazer: Rise and Fall #3, DC Comics (2021). Image: Tom Taylor, Darick Robertson/DC Comics

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John Constantine just snogged Satan in a pub bathroom

It’s “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” for goths

This week, DC wrapped up the Black Label book Hellblazer: Rise and Fall with a story about John Constantine investigating a mysterious string of deaths in which the worst of society’s upper crust keep leaping to their deaths with what look like angel wings sewn into their backs.

Way back in the series’ first issue, Satan tricks John into believing for several minutes that he had a drunken one night stand with the devil himself, before laughing his ass off and telling John that as the King of Hell he has better standards than that. But is John Constantine too low rent for quick snog with the Lord of Lies?

This week we found out that no. No he is not.

What else is happening in the pages of our favorite comics? We’ll tell you. Welcome to Monday Funnies, Polygon’s weekly list of the books that our comics editor enjoyed this past week. It’s part society pages of superhero lives, part reading recommendations, part “look at this cool art.” There may be some spoilers. There may not be enough context. But there will be great comics. (And if you missed the last edition, read this.)

Hellblazer: Rise and Fall #3

John Constantine makes out with Satan (red skinned, horned, tailed, wearing a suit) in a dingy pub bathroom, in Hellblazer: Rise and Fall #3, DC Comics (2021). Image: Tom Taylor, Darick Robertson/DC Comics

What really makes this panel for me is the correct artistic choice on Darick Robertson’s part, that when French kissing the Devil, Constantine would lift his ankle like a little princess.

Runaways #33

The Runaways fight Wolverine and Pixie to a standstill to keep them from taking Molly to Krakoa against her will. Pixie exclaims “We’re only here because we got Molly’s distress call. She asked us to bring her to Krakoa,” in Runaways #33, Marvel Comics (2021). Image: Rainbow Rowell, Andrés Genolet/Marvel Comics

Awww, yes, Runaways is finally addressing the Krakoa question: Now that all mutants have a home, how does resident mutant Runaway Molly Hayes feel about living on the island?

Future State: Wonder Woman #2

“They are not heroes because they are perfect. They are heroes because they must overcome their imperfections,” says a narrator, as Yara Flor/Wonder Woman weeps, until her pegasus bonks her with his head. “Stop, Jerry! You are so annoying!” she cries, smiling again, in Future State: Wonder Woman #2, DC Comics (2021). Image: Joëlle Jones/DC Comics

Yara Flor’s first solo series concluded this week, but don’t worry — she’ll be back as Wonder Girl!

X-Factor #7

Prodigy attempts to usher his boyfriend Speed out of X-Factor HQ as Speed peppers Northstar with questions about how fast and cool he is in X-Factor #7. “I’m also rich and gay, since you seem to be keeping score,” Northstar quips. Image: Leah Williams, David Baldeón/Marvel Comics

Tommy/Speed losing his cool over Northstar, seasoned gay speedster, was one of the loveliest moments in this week’s X-Factor.

The Dreaming: Waking Hours #7

Todd, a muscular guy in a mesh shirt, knocks on the door of the exiled angle Jophiel, the the form of a black man. He explains that he can’t find his girlfriend Heather, and Jophiel calls out to Ruin to say they’re going for a walk, in The Dreaming: Waking Hours #7, DC Comics (2021). Image: G. Willow Wilson, Javier Rodriguez/DC Comics

Speaking of queers, this arc of The Dreaming: Waking Hours is turning into that one meme. Every queer friend group has: An exiled angel, a talking raven, a baby gargoyle, a trans sorceress, her himbo boyfriend who loves her so much he lets her dress him in mesh shirts, and a nightmare who fell in love with a monk he saw once in a dream.

This is not a complaint.

Black Knight: King in Black

Dane Whitman is berated by a ghost of his ancestor for being a shitty Black Knight and a shitty Avenger in Black Knight: King in Black, Marvel Comics (2021). Image: Simon Spurrier, Jesús Saiz/Marvel Comics

Black Knight: King in Black serves as a one-shot preview of Simon Spurrier’s Black Knight: Curse of the Ebony Blade, and you know I’m here for Spurrier writing a Falstaffian fantasy hero. Coda knocked my socks off.

Far Sector #10

Green Lantern Jo receives a panicked message from her friend CanHaz, who says that the Council is ordering a shudown of half the referendum servers, preventing her people from voting, as many of them can’t afford to vote in person, in Far Sector #10, DC Comics (2021). Image: N.K. Jemisin, Jamal Campbell/DC Comics

Far Sector wins the award for most eerily prescient — but perhaps not surprisingly prescient, given that it’s written by sci-fi author N.K. Jemisin — comic on the stands today.

Hellions #9

The Hellions react to the news that Mister Sinister is in a bind by laughing and suggesting they go grab lunch, in Hellions #9, Marvel Comics (2021). Image: Zeb Wells, Stephen Segovia/Marvel Comics

Hellions did not grab me in its first arc but ever since the X of Swords stuff, every issue of it is something that tickles my love of weird comic book meta and gives me a good belly laugh.


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