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Mario brought a gun to the Ubisoft press conference

Simone and Griffin have thoughts that they are sharing online

Simone, Griffin, and a Rabbid
Patrick Gill (he/him) has been making serious and unserious videos for Polygon since 2016. He also co-hosts & produces Polygon’s weekly livestreams on Twitch.

Griffin and Simone cannot agree on how to pronounce Ubisoft, but they can agree on several other things regarding Ubisoft’s E3 press conference:

  1. Rabbids are an insult to life itself, but Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle looks pretty fun.
  2. Fighting a hippopotamus underwater is not a sound strategic decision, even in Assassin’s Creed Origins.
  3. The Crew 2 has a lot of potential.
  4. Skull and Bones looks exciting and the pirate life is for Simone.
  5. Far Cry 5 has a good dog who deserves to be loved. He needs someone to take him away from all this blood and violence and pet him and rub his tummy. He will have his own bed, but he can sleep on our bed if he’s been very good or if there is a thunderstorm or fireworks show. We promise we’ll take him for a walk every day and feed him raw salmon and whole grains supplemented with meaty bones. The dog’s name is Boomer.

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