clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile
A Bulbasaur with human teeth

Filed under:

Polygon staff members draw their favorite Pokémon ... with human teeth

It’s another horrible round of Polygon Draws

Russ Frushtick is the director of special projects, and he has been covering the world of video games and technology for over 15 years. He co-founded Polygon in 2012.

Pokémon are capable of a great many things, but if there’s one thing they lack, it’s a set of epic chompers. After all, how can they perform a proper Bite attack when most of them just seem to have gummy maws.

In this installment of Polygon Draws, the staff has been tasked with depicting their favorite Pokémon, albeit sporting human teeth. Finally one of the biggest mistakes The Pokémon Company made has been righted and we can all go on with our lives.

All of the artists are listed below, along with statements on what inspired them to create such masterworks.

Ryan Gilliam

“I’ve spent a lot of time in my life looking at Blastoise, and so this is the best Polygon Draws drawing I will ever produce. It’s also the only way I know how to draw teeth, so this challenge worked in my favor.”

Susana Polo

“Deeply cursed.”

Cass Marshall

“Many people asked me why I included lips on this Bulbasaur. To be frank, I was confused why the other artists did not include lips. To me, lips are a delivery system for teeth. If teeth were cargo, lips would be the train carrying them into the mouth station. I am not trying to be controversial, this is simply what I believe.”

Russ Frushtick

“Basically I thought: Why stop at teeth?”

Chelsea Stark

“I had a lovely Weepingbell in Pokémon: Let’s Go that I named Robert. I’d like to think that Robert is now able to live out his omnivorous desires, instead of having to subsist on meager sunlight. I’m so happy for Robert.”

Nicole Carpenter

“Is it blood or gums? Maybe both. That’s for you to decide.”

Patrick Gill

Karen Han

“That’s where the teeth go.”

Chris Plante

“I have a mouth and i must scream.”

Clayton Ashley

“Slowpoke wasn’t my favorite as a kid, but as I’ve aged I’ve found I relate more and more to this slothful Pokémon’s laid-back style. So yes, the tail stripe, mouth, and lazy eyes aren’t correct, but that’s just my tribute to Slowpoke’s chill attitude. Like, whatever dude.”

Maddy Myers

“I hope that Charmander’s commitment to caring for his unexpectedly human teeth will serve as an inspiration to us all.”

Julia Lee

“I realize now that I like rabbit-eared Pokémon. I’m also realizing now that all Pokémon designs would be improved with a set of dentures.”


How to preorder the Pokémon TCG: Scarlet and Violet — Paldean Fates sets


The best nerdy Advent calendars


Pokémon come to life in National Geographic-style animations

View all stories in Pokémon