The important, unanswered questions about Westworld’s sex and murder bots

Westworld is an amazing show about the ethical and moral implications of going to a Wild West-themed amusement park where you can kill or bone any of the animatronic hosts of the in-game world.

It’s an intriguing premise, but it raises raises a number of unanswered, logistical questions about the pricing and reality of running this sort of theme park.

So join us, won’t you, while we ask the really important questions of this world.

How, exactly, does the pricing work?

Is your ticket all-inclusive? Let’s say you want to take your kids to Westworld to enjoy the robotic horses and beautiful scenery ... do you still have the option of sleeping with one of the many sex robots after they go to sleep, or would you have to choose to purchase the sex robot option when booking your trip?

We never see anyone exchanging currency with the hosts in the park, so it seems like the robots are programmed not to ask the hosts to pay for anything. But, economically wouldn’t the Westworld board want to add a pay-gate to certain activities?

We asked the official chatbot, but it wasn’t very helpful.

Is there a Wizarding World of Evan Rachel Wood?

So Westworld is a neat idea, and who doesn’t want to kill a bandit in the street or sleep with a few sex bots of any and all genders, but are there also Science Fiction World and Magical World? Is this one of many parks like it in the world? Where exactly is the park located? Is it ironic that, in their world, this is Past World, but in our world, it’s Science Fiction World? Really makes you think.

The Westworld website lists the park as “A Delos Destination,” which implies that there are definitely other Delos parks out there.

Is there a family section?

Westworld is organized so that the more “adult” content happens furthest from the center of the park. In the first episode, we see a visiting family comment that they shouldn’t cross the river, because it’s too adult for their kid.

But in that same episode the town is the site of a bloody shootout. It’s also home to the extremely un-subtle brothel. If this is the tame stuff, what the heck is happening further from town?

Is there a child-friendly section of town where families stay so that they aren’t kept up all night by the sounds of loud robot sex and gunfire?

It’s also possible that in the near-future of Westworld, media has escalated to the point where the “tits and guns” of Sweetwater are considered PG-13. Think about the culture war that we’ve had in the past 30 years over first-person shooters and violence in video games. Multiply that by a few more years and some technological leaps and bounds, and it’s not hard to imagine that the humans in Westworld are even more inured to sex and violence than we are today.

What was the park like 30 years ago?

Did Anthony Hopkins’ character set up a meeting with some venture capitalists and pitch them on the idea of making a theme park where you could kill and fuck (not necessarily in that order) extremely lifelike robots?

Or did Westworld start out as a park more like Colonial Williamsburg, except with robots instead of actors? At what point did the board realize that there were serious dollars in letting the visitors get freaky in the park? Do you think they patched in the murder or the sex first?

I bet the old bots are just like Barbie dolls down there.

Do couples show up thinking they’re just going to do the adventure part and then at different times of the night they sneak out to bang different robots?

It seems pretty obvious that sex and violence are the two biggest draws of Westworld (why do people bring their kids, again?). So at what point do you have to have The Talk with your spouse?

Sure, they know that they’re in for a Wild West vacation with guns and horses and a whole lot of whisky. But do they know you want to fuck that robot? Are your kids aware of the crazy bisexual robot orgy happening one room over while they dream of panning for gold?

I think it makes sense that a hyper-realistic robot would make for a great third partner in a threesome, especially if your spouse isn’t interested in the emotional complexity that introducing another human partner might bring.

How has inflation impacted the dollar?

So we went on the official page and tried to book a stay. It gets expensive. Quickly. Check it out:

We tried to book again with the goal of keeping pricing down. This is what we came up with:

Better! So if you wanted to go by yourself and leave the family behind, you can save a whole bunch of money. Multiple characters on the show remark on the cost of the trip, so even taking into account inflation, this doesn’t seem very affordable for the average person.

On the other hand, we refer to a trip to Disney World as being expensive all the time, and it certainly is, but it’s not out of reach for many families around the world. The Disney parks, even with their rather exorbitant prices, are never hurting for guests.

What’s keeping you from just killing everything?

I bet you’re only allowed to kill a certain amount of James Marsdens a week. It’s like a James Marsden wildlife preserve. You have to cull the herd.

What happens after Dec. 4?

That’s the last day we could book a trip to the park. Pretty ominous, if you ask us. We’ll be updating this post throughout the season as we have more questions, about either the sex or the murder.