Resident Evil’s intros are almost as scary as the games themselves

Fact: The Resident Evil series can be pretty dang scary.

Fact: The Resident Evil series’ opening cutscenes? Also scary, albeit in a completely different way.

What’s so scary about the introductions to some of the most celebrated survival horror games of our time? According to Polygon’s resident film experts, Allegra Frank (Ed. note: Hello) and Patrick “Pat” Gill, a lot of things — but few you would expect.

For one, Resident Evil 5 begins with Chris Redfield driving for a long, long time. But when does he stop for a bathroom break? Allegra and Pat have issues with the verisimilitude of that intro.

Meanwhile, Resident Evil 6 uses a bunch of different intro sequences to take us to a bunch of different places. But how do any of these characters actually travel to those places? It’s mostly unclear, and that’s a serious problem if you’re trying to create a good opening.

If you think you know what counts as a good, spooky gaming intro, well, let me tell you, ma’am: You don’t know nothing yet. Thankfully, Allegra and Pat are here to “play the baseball game,” if you will; to be specific, they are devoted to spending their Halloween educating the masses as to just what makes Resident Evil tick, and a game open properly.

Watch the archive of their stream above for some seasonally appropriate footage, especially if you’re a Resident Evil fan. And if you’re here for real filmic knowledge, you have come to the right place, friend. (There’s more where that came from below, too.)