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We used wrestling to determine the best fast food brand

Tune in for the well-seasoned season finale of Brand Slam

Patrick Gill (he/him) has been making serious and unserious videos for Polygon since 2016. He also co-hosts & produces Polygon’s weekly livestreams on Twitch.

Brand Slam is a show were we use the hyper-accurate simulations offered by modern computing to create entirely accurate representations of our favorite (and most feared) brands, and then pit them against one another in the cleanest, most honest form of competition known to man: professional wrestling.

In our first season, we created a scientifically perfect WWE 2K18 tournament bracket with the end goal of definitively naming The World’s Greatest Fast Food Brand. After a grueling series of matches, heartbreaking eliminations and inspiring comebacks, we have reached our final matchup: Papa John’s Vs. Panda Express.

In the opening matches of the Brand Slam Tournament, Papa John proved himself to be a pitiless, violent competitor who took little umbrage with ending the careers of the Taco Bell Chihuahua and Ronald McDonald.

Panda Express’ journey through the tournament has been different. Plagued by self-doubt and fears of inadequacy, Panda’s greatest foe has been himself.

Can Panda find his fighting spirit before the merciless Papa John crushes him for good? Tune in to find out.