Most guides on Octopath Traveler are there to help you get set up quickly in this gorgeous RPG (like our beginner’s guide and our guide to picking your character).
But none of these guides tell you how to choose a character that isn’t an insufferable cad.
You’ll be stuck with this protagonist for dozens of hours. Might as well choose someone that isn’t constantly whining throughout that epic journey, right?
Here’s the rundown of characters from least to most annoying.
Sure, she’s the dancer, which makes the beginning pretty tough. However, her story is the most compelling, and you’ll be totally fine after you get a companion (which takes less than an hour). Her path starts out challenging, but at least she’s a good character to be stuck with for the rest of the game.
He can be a bit boring, but Olberic’s journey is all about reclaiming his purpose. It’s not a bad plot, and he’s a strong fighter, which makes up for the fact that he talks like a high school football coach reminiscing on his glory days.
The go-getter attitude of Tressa is a lot, but she has a great hat and she can buy things from pretty much everyone, which is a neat mechanic. I personally appreciate that in her first chapter (slight spoilers for her intro mission) she purchases poison from a vendor and immediately announces that she’ll be using it on some pirates. That kind of transparency is something I appreciate in a merchant.
He’s a doctor. A perfectly standard apothecary. Not really annoying, not really perfect. Also he says this:
I could have put her a little bit higher up on the annoying scale because she speaks in a butchered, semi-olde English, but her cool beast-capture ability more than makes up for that. Who cares if she puts -en at the end of all of her verbs? She can send huge ants at her enemies!
She’s the cleric. Clerics are always going on about their duty and how they must spread the light and all that jazz. Ophilia’s a teacher’s pet, just like all other clerics, so it feels like low-hanging fruit to put her this high up on the list. But hey, it’s also where she belongs.
Cyrus was doing so well until he started playing Sherlock Holmes. I could handle the “cool teacher” attitude for so long, but when he started agreeing that he was a genius, he moved from “scholar” to “guy who brings out his Mensa membership card at the bar.” Not cool, Cyrus.
All thieves need to be adequately brooding. Therion takes it a step too far. Every line feels like something Criss Angel threw away for being “too much.” Therion just needs everyone to know that he isn’t flustered, he’s totally cool, and he definitely doesn’t think Sasuke is the best character in Naruto, because he’s definitely never watched Naruto.
If you want this information in a different format, make sure to watch the video at the top, where I sing “Mambo No. 5” by Lou Bega with all of the names replaced with the Octopath Travelers. And make sure to subscribe to our YouTube channel for more content just like this.