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Ranking Dark Souls bosses as corporate bosses

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Can Ornstein and Smough please fill out the HR paperwork?

Dark Souls is unforgiving. The landscape is uninhabitable. The bosses are sinister. The chances for upward mobility are almost nonexistent.

Sounds like most corporate jobs!

Some (read: me) have described working at a dead-end job as the Dark Souls of living. As a result, I have taken it upon myself to analyze every boss in the Dark Souls series based on their business acumen.

But in order to do that, I had to create a catchy mnemonic device that lists the five qualities of a good boss.

The Five Cs of being a good (Dark Souls) boss:

  1. Clear vision: Can this boss communicate their goals and give clear steps on how to achieve those goals? In the world of Dark Souls, does this boss clearly hold their arm way up in the air before slamming it down on you?
  2. Consistent feedback: It’s important for a boss to let you know that you’ve made a mistake, like challenging Seath the Scaleless before putting on your ring of sacrifice, you absolute fool. You child.
  3. Cherishes employees: A good boss values employee perspectives and rewards good performance, like when the boss decides to die if you hit it in a good way.
  4. Compassionate leadership: A high emotional intelligence. Honest. Trusting. Worthy of respect from their employees. The kind of boss you chat with at the Estus cooler.
  5. Can really just go to town on a motherfucker: Someone who’s willing to do what needs to be done when the going gets tough. Or someone that reveals an abyssal dragon that they’ve been keeping under their armor. You won’t find this one on most corporate blogs, and that’s why you should only trust my criteria.

If you’re a manager, make sure to exemplify each of these five Cs in your daily work. Your employees will love you for it. Or they will perish. Either one.

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