Which Mortal Kombat character gives the best cuddles?

Mortal Kombat 11 is a fine game. I like it. It has most of the things I want to see in a Mortal Kombat game. Unfortunately, there is a noticeable lack of cuddling.

No matter how many letters I send to NetherRealm Studios about adding a “post-fight, comfort-based, cuddling-centric minigame,” I never hear anything back. But I think I know why: They don’t know who the best cuddler is.

So I took it upon myself to judge every playable Mortal Kombat character based on emotional availability (how open and caring they are) and physical risk (how innovative and dangerous they are). Here is an incredibly scientific cuddle criteria chart:

The most effective cuddlers aim for the bullseye on this chart, but that doesn’t mean the extremes can’t be nice on occasion. I explore all four outlier corners and then work my way up to the top cuddlers in the center.

If you’re reading this, NetherRealm Studios, feel free to use my research to create that minigame I’ve been requesting.

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