Ahead of Wonder Woman 1984, Xbox revealed three custom consoles inspired by the movie. The three consoles — for decorative use only specifies Xbox’s website — are absolutely committed to the Wonder Woman 1984 aesthetic and can be obtained through various ways.
The first, a gold-plated one, inspired by Wonder Woman’s armor, will be available for auction. All proceeds go to Together for Her, a humanitarian charity standing in solidarity with women and girls across the world while also supporting the response against global violence during COVID-19. The design of this one also has a swanky eagle, much like Diana’s winged costume. Powerful! Brave! Daring!
The next console is a bit ... gauche, shall we say, in a bright orange with a rope wrapped around it. The controller is a flurry of vibrant neon colors, matching the Wonder Woman logo at the center. This one is supposedly inspired by the Lasso of Truth, but the lasso is merely an accessory to whatever the hell is going on the console. Look, I love the controller for this one, but the console itself ... I respect what it’s trying to do. Does it pull it off? Debatable.
The Lasso of Truth console can be won by liking or retweeting the forthcoming Xbox sweepstakes tweet from Aug. 25 through Sept. 17.
And finally, we have the piece de resistance of the entire collection: the Barbara Minerva Xbox One X Console, inspired by Wonder Woman’s arch enemy. Where do we even begin to break this one down? For starters, it’s a faux snakeskin — snakeskin! — pattern with PUNK ROCK metal studs, all wrapped up in a faux leopard print coat. The console has a coat, folks. The controller matches the coat and wow, it is a lot.
But look, as much as I appreciate going the extra mile and swathing the Xbox like a baby in its own custom fit, there is one very glaring error here. Barbara Minerva’s alter ego is Cheetah, not Leopard. It should be cheetah print! Yes, there is a distinct difference. But hey, I respect the commitment to the aesthetic here, if not the accuracy.
If you want to know how to own the Barbara Minerva console, unfortunately the details of winning this one are absent from the Xbox site.
All of the consoles are for display purposes only — but don’t worry, winners will be gifted with an actual functioning (albeit normal-looking and thus boring) Xbox One.
Wonder Woman 1984 is set to hit theaters on Oct.2.